Category Archives: Thinking…

My Sakura

sakura

Afternoon Everyone!

Well my Sakura has been acting really strange with her food for the past 6 weeks, so I decided to take her to the vet for a check up.

She’s a small cat and I’ve always given her Iaams biscuits and Dine or Fancy Feast wet food every other day. With the Iaams you don’t really have to give wet food but I did it just so she wouldn’t get bored with her biscuits. Unlike many other cats I’ve always been able to leave her bowl full of biscuits because she only takes little bites here and there.

Well lately she has been cutting me off on the way to get her tin food and crying at my feet to go and get more! She never ever does this. The other night I was eating my dinner and she jumped up next to me and nearly took the food out of my mouth! YIKES!! What the, “I thought?” She’s been wormed regularly even though she’s purely an indoor cat.

So off I go to the vet and he tests her urine for Diabetes, and that comes out all clear. Hmmm, okay, “what now?” now you need blood test and maybe she could have a thyroid problem as she’s also lost weight! What my baby lost weight and her mummy didn’t even notice! Bad mummy cat, I am! ūüôā ¬†Good news was that her teeth are all good as they thought maybe she had a fracture and that’s why she was by-passing the biscuits. Sigh of relief teeth all good, tick! ūüôā

Hmmm so now blood was taken and I have to wait for the results. He’s testing for a few things and I’m just hoping that whatever – if anything – is wrong, that it can be fixed with medication.

BTW: Is a vet the richest profession or what? Lol the tests cost me $350.

But she is worth all my money and more. Crazy how our pets turn us all into children when we talk to them, especially when they are sick or we think they are sick, right? Haha.

Okay, since writing this yesterday and throwing it into my drafts, ¬†my vet phoned and it seems my baby is extreme dehydrated and is refusing to drink to help that. She’s never been a big drinker but I now have to find ways to make her! Try milk, he said. So, I tried milk which she never has had and she actually drank it. Yay!! ¬†So I tried again today and she snubbed it! Booo

Apparently the reason shes cutting me off to get her wet food is that she’s getting the moisture from it. Naughty girl. ūüôā

Anyways I’m trying all the things he told me to do and will get her weighed again in 3 weeks to make sure she’s not still losing weight. He said feed her as much as her little heart desires until we can sort this out.

Sadly he thinks she’s under stress from the move even though it’s been 6 months. He said as she’s an indoor cat there could be stray cats coming to the windows when I’m out and that could be causing her stress. ¬†He also said not drinking is almost like self sabotaging herself. ūüė¶ ¬†My poor girl is 11 now and I suppose she’s becoming more delicate. ūüôā But it’s too hot right now for her to not drink very much.

So anyone have any tips on getting my princess to drink?

Hugs to you all, Paula xxxxx

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Hello!

 

Bushfire

Hi there everyone, ūüôā

Boy was the Christmas break full on with lots of things to do and plenty of drinking… Actually, too much drinking!

I put on about 2 kilos and are now thinking it’s about time to try and send them back to wherever it is they came from. I think they call it the the cake, chocolate, potato chip bourbon county? Not sure exactly where it is but I’m sure some of you have already had run-ins with this community. They love to leave you with a few kilos here and there and take no responsibility for it. I think i need to complain to their lord mayor, does anyone know his or her name?? Hahahaha

Okay I’ll be serious now. ūüôā

As many of you know I come from Australia (Oz, or the land Down Under to some) but the city I live in is Perth, Western Australia. For those that don’t know, Sydney and Melbourne are on the East side which are much cooler States than Perth, yet Melbourne has been experiencing extremely high heats lately also! Our world is changing. ūüôā Now we recently had the Ashes (cricket) here and the poor guys had to play in 44 degrees Celsius. Let me tell you, that is scorching hot and not for the faint of heart. Now playing cricket in that and standing around for hours on end? Grueling! ¬†I would take my hat off to them if I had one for their perseverance. And lets not forget their die hard fans that sat in that crowd cheering them on and showing their support. ¬†I say well done to both the Aussies and the English team!! ūüôā

A friend of mine took me last week to watch the 20/20 cricket game here at the WACA. Never before going to watch a game I was a little hesitant about what it would be like, but PEOPLE it was awesome!! So much fun and so exciting. The crowd were all so excited and pumped and I love the vibe and how they encourage the crowds to cheer their team on and how they play music in between the shots. It’s so cool and the game is so fast with heaps of 4’s and 6’s been hit into the crowds. If you’ve never been to one and get the opportunity to do so? I say go for it as you won’t regret it! Oh by the way Perth won over Adelaide by 5 runs, it was nail biting exciting stuff! Yet I don’t bite my nails. Hahaha

As for our weather here? It’s been hot hot hotter and then warm warm warm. Lol We have had some terrible fires that have left many homeless here in Perth but like all good cities the people have come out in their droves to support the needy in anyway they can. Losing your home would be horrific yet I still can’t help but feel for all the wildlife and domestic animals that don’t make it through these horrific fires. Just thinking about it makes you sad. Melbourne has also experienced some terrible fires lately. You know the bit that really grates on me? It’s when you find out that the fires have been lit deliberately. I know a lot of ¬†these people are pyromaniacs and are very ill and are in need of help, but they truly have NO idea of the damage to so many lives they have ruined. They should be made to go and apologise to every single person they have affected and listen to their story and see the damage for themselves. Look in to the eyes ¬†and see the pain and suffering they have inflicted to someone who more than likely never hurt another soul before and is now being punished for someone else’s stupidity! Then go into therapy and get help!!

And then the polar opposite to the other side of the world has been flooding storms and extremely cold temperatures. I suppose the whole world climates are changing and I don’t know if it’s to do with global warming or not, anyone have an opinion as to what’s going on in our beautiful world? ūüôā Would being kinder to our planet make a difference or is mother nature always going to have her way with Planet Earth, regardless? Hmmm the mind ponders so let’s see what you have to say?

I shall be off now so have a great week and many hugs to you all. Paula xxxxx

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Mental Illness

mental-illness-art-a3ce9bb6a9a7cdbcMental Illness. Instantly, this phrase can make someone nervous.

Why do you think it’s still like this in the 21st century?

We all know some of the obvious reasons – for example, the way mental illness is portrayed in many Hollywood movies. One Who Flew over The Cuckoo’s Nest, Black Swan, Sucker Punch, Girl, Interrupted; Fight Club… The list goes on.

But isn’t it talked about more often and people are more open than was once the case? I wonder, what makes someone scared? Maybe they think the person with schizophrenia is going to come at them with a knife because they saw it once on the news? Or maybe they will become some kind of poltergeist and their head will start spinning?¬†How far from the truth! I imagine they just want you to treat them like everyone else. Imagine how hard the diagnosis alone is? And then for someone to be segregated as a result of that diagnosis?? Wow, how crushing!!

What about the Depressed person, who you think is always moaning and down. Why not put your arms around them and let them know that you’re there if they need you. Don’t try to avoid them; maybe just listen to what they have to say… Not just wait for them to finish and run away, but really listen! Sometimes that’s all someone needs. They aren’t failures or losers because they’re Depressed. Depression is very real and it’s not in their heads. If they could make it go away, they would! They want to laugh and smile again just like everyone else. They are lost and broken and need someone to help get them back on track. Whether that be by therapy, medication, love and understanding, or all of them…. Whichever the case they will get there with your love and support. You know anyone can be caught in the stronghold of depression at some point in their lives. Your one gesture of love and understanding? It can change their whole day and world! Show them love and kindness.¬†Everyone needs love and understanding, right?

It baffles me that some members of society still judge this way. I suppose there are those that suffer greatly and at times have to be hospitalised and stabilised as a result of their mental illness, but usually this is a result of someone stopping their medication/s, or that they just need their prescriptions adjusted. I suppose when someone witnesses these turns, it frightens them and I can understand that, but again a little bit of love and understanding goes a hell of a long way to helping their recovery.

Lets take the word Normal. Can someone please explain what that means?? Not what the dictionary says, but what in REAL LIFE does this word mean?

What you think is Normal another person doesn’t! So, who is right and who is wrong?

Bipolar Disorder – You know one minute we are flying high and no one can touch us, next we come crashing down and need someone with big hearts and open arms to catch us. Sometimes we don’t see the fall until it’s too late. That’s when the climb back up to the top can be exhausting. We become our biggest enemy. Everyday we have to find something to smile about or we drown. We are just like you, but some days we stumble and need love and understand to get us back up.

OCD-Obsessive Compulsive Disorder this can be so debilitating for so many people. Yet some people make fun of this. But why? Have they had it? Do they even understand the trauma the person goes through on daily basis? They know it’s not NORMAL, but they can’t help it. It’s what makes them feel normal!

Take Anxiety Disorder, it’s crippling and yet anyone can be caught in its grip at some point in their lives. Very successful people can suffer with this. In no way does the label define the person. Breathing is like hyperventilating and you feel that you are going to pass out. Or worse, you shallow breathe and feel like you’re drowning in your own breath. You’re looking for the positives but all you see is negativity. A mole hill becomes a mountain of Everest proportions! You try to get a hold of it and then it just pulls you back down. Again, people just need your understanding and compassion.

Now this is a tricky one: Anorexia/Bulimia The things these people suffer in their daily lives are horrendous. The way they see themselves can make you cry. I’ve had both of these in my life and let me tell you, they are crippling! They/we do not see what you see. Why do magazines glorify us human beings? We aren’t perfect so why are we always looking for perfection in our bodies. We are attracted to all sorts of different body shapes, right? So, why do we think slim and perfect is the answer? Where does this come from? Even to this day as small framed as I am… I dislike my body. Actually that’s an understatement!! ¬†It’s wrong and I know that, but trying to get this one in my head is like extracting a tooth! ūüôā Beauty is but skin deep, so how does this happen?

You know there are so many disorders out there – these are just some that people face daily.

Please don’t be afraid of what you don’t understand. These people are Normal. They just struggle at times and need your love and understanding. Not anyone’s judgement.

To all those out there that suffer with any kind of Mental Illness? I reach out and hug all of you and understand your daily struggles. We are a lot stronger  than people realise. We fight our demons every day and somehow pull through. Maybe your faith gets you through or the love and support of family and friends. Whatever the case may be, we get there. Be proud of who and what you are and what you have achieved. Never compare your achievements to another, as there will always be those greater, as well as those less fortunate. Stay strong and believe in you, for you are a beautiful soul and deserved to be loved and respected like every other human being.

Remember WE ARE  like everyone else and just want to be accepted for who we are. Our diagnosis DOES NOT define us as a person.

We can only hope it helps others understand, that some days we will struggle. And if we fall? Give us a helping hand and we will get back up and try again tomorrow. You know just that little bit of help love and understanding from those around us? We can get there! Maybe not to what you think is normal, but to what’s achievable and realistic to us. Just love us for who we are and we will love you back as you are!

I really do love our blog family/community and to you all, I for one appreciate the love understanding and friendship that you all have shown me and to those in need here on WordPress!

You have no idea how much you make a difference. That one gesture of love and understanding you show, can make that persons day and life a whole lot brighter!

WORDS ARE POWERFUL!!

Love and hugs to the whole community! Let’s not be afraid of what we don’t understand.

Hugs to you all, Paula xxxxx

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Depression Exists

no-elevator-to-success

Depression Exists:

I think in life we sometimes put too much pressure on ourselves to succeed. We have a tendency to judge success by what we own and not always by what we have achieved.

The fancy Car/Home, Money, Boat, Great Job, Designer Clothes etc etc.

But I don’t think we should judge success by this alone. Success is about becoming ¬†the best person we can be.
Being true to ourselves and our fellow human beings.
Having  family and friends that love and respect you.
Success is being able to look in the mirror and love what you see.
It’s about loving and appreciating the simple things in life.
Okay, this is not to say people shouldn’t be proud of what they have ¬†achieved. Not at all! It’s brilliant if you have dedicated your life to getting to where you are now and have come out the other end with ¬†everything that matters to you. It’s just so many people get there, turn around and ¬†realise everything they loved is now gone. They forgot about the simple things in life that truly make us happy and bring us peace. That family and friends count for so much.

We all need something to aspire to. But not to the point that everything that truly matters flies out the window. Depression holds no prejudice and has no boundaries. No one is safe from its grip, once you fall down, it’s anyone’s game. It’s doing your best to not fall in the first place. Monetary etc is not worth your health. You can never buy back your health!

Just because you have Depression doesn’t mean you can’t be cured, or get some kind of ¬†reprieve from it. Re-evaluate if you have to, change course if need be! ¬†Go the other way, do a U- Turn; whatever it takes to bring you back to good health.¬†A happy, more positive person, free of guilt or failure.

Success is being able to look around you and see the smiles and happiness that you have brought to those you love and especially to yourself. You, you are the most important one, when you fall everything else around you does too. You are the key to your kingdom. Those around you just want you to be happy. If you’re happy? They are too!

Be happy and stay the course, it may take a while to get back there, but once you have? Boy, how beautiful will life be!

Being able to share everything you have achieved in life with someone may be considered a success. Don’t measure your success and failures against anyone. There will always be greater and less fortunate people out there. ¬†What makes you happy? What makes you feel like you’ve succeeded? That’s all that matters and staying healthy in the process!

I wish you all love and good health. Be at peace with you and don’t put too much undue pressure on yourself to succeed. Look around you – maybe you will see that you’re already there!! ¬†Everything that truly matters may be staring at you now! For You May Have Already Succeeded!!

Hugs to you all…..Paula xxxx

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Children/Grandchildren part 1

Children at beach

My son made me a grandmother at 38. I know I know what you’re thinking – crazy, right?

It wasn’t all his fault. I was a teenage mum, ¬†so it was a possibility. ¬†He married at 21 and has 2¬†beautiful boys. Yes, I am biased …I’m the nana!! Lol

As a grandparent you get the¬†privilege of seeing life¬†differently. You get to love them play with them, and then hand them back to their parents. The love and bond of a grandparent is so special. Your relationship is almost outside the realms of parenting, so you are able to connect differently. Letting the parent do all the parenting can be hard at times, but it’s not our job to interfere (with¬†obvious¬†exceptions). Even I have learnt this one!

What you did as a parent you may no longer think ¬†your children should do to their children. Like smack or yell, or make them eat all their food. Which is okay, but I think parenting has kind of gone a little off the tracks a little. ¬†Meaning, a small smack on the hand instantly when they where wrong. Not 20 minutes later. never hurt our kids at all, or even us when we were little. You knew you were in the wrong and just accepted it and made sure not to do it again. Now this one doesn’t always work! Lol¬†¬† ¬†Sometimes I think we liked the smacks!! lol Maybe some even grew up liking bondage? Lol

Being bought up strict can have its advantage and disadvantages. But we knew right from wrong, got smacked when we didn’t and learnt to respect our elders.

Life changes though and I think that to a certain degree we have to go with that change and new knowledge that parents have today. In a way I think ignorance was bliss. You didn’t have to think every five minutes if you were doing the wrong thing. You just got on with things.

Being a parent is not an easy job and it’s a thankless one at that. I think even the best parents in the world end up with one or more of their kids saying, they hated this or that about their life. Your kind of damned if you do and damned if you don’t. You see those adoring faces looking up at you and think they will stay that way forever. But no, there comes the day you are no longer¬†everything¬†to them and it’s your fault for not letting them go out and have underage fun! God we are killjoys!! Lol

Tomorrow I will discuss what else I have learnt as a parent.

Hugs to you all….Paula xxx

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Do We Say Sorry And Mean It??

im-sorry

Do we  say sorry and mean it?

Have you ever being sorry for something and wished you could take that moment back? You¬†more than likely have¬†as it’s human nature to make mistakes… Or poor choices!

But we can’t get that moment back because it’s already in the past. Like that, see, it’s gone, we are now in the future, whoops it’s gone again and again.. Bugger, missed it again! Okay you get my point. lol

We say sorry but sometimes sorry isn’t enough for some people to let it go. I suppose your forgiveness is measured by what kind of pain or disappointment you caused the person or persons.

I thought of this one a lot lately and I’ve come to the conclusion that sorry is but a word. (Feeling regret, compassion, sympathy, pity etc) But are we sorry to them or just sorry for our own self pity, regret etc?¬† Do we really mean it when we say sorry or are we doing it with our fingers crossed behind our backs?

Actions speak louder than words so therefore when our actions are poor choices judgement etc, you can’t blame someone for not trusting in your being sorry. So how do you regain trust? Do you spend hours trying to justify yourself or do you let it go and move forward?

I’ve decided that moving forward is the best thing. When your fingers aren’t behind your back and you are genuinely sorry, what more can you do or say to make that person believe that you mean it. Actually I don’t think you can… Trust is something earned and once you lose that trust it’s very hard to get it back. You may know you mean it, but the other persons hurt is just too deep.

You have to let it go as it only pulls you down and makes you feel bad; almost like grieving in some kind of strange way. The past is but the past and the future is here and now. Learning from our mistake is whats important and taking responsibility for it. So move forward and have no regrets, as guilt is a wasted emotion!

Have you ever said or done something and wished you could take it back??

Hugs and love to you all……Paula xxx

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What Darkness Means To Me

Sad

What darkness means to me!

So do I hide this side of me? Or do I let you in? 

I’ve decided to let you in!

To me, it’s a place to hide from myself when I can’t or don’t want to face reality. Rather than face my demons head-on I retreat into the emptiness of my brain. At times it feels safe in there; other days it’s scary and I can’t find my way out.

Crying doesn’t help because I’m not crying out loud.¬†¬†Screaming doesn’t help because I’m not one to scream! I’m crouching in a corner of my mind – crying, sobbing¬†cradling my body…¬†Where is everyone, can’t you see me?… Can’t you hear me?…My hand is¬†reaching, out but no one is¬†taking it.

A lifeless black hole that feels no pain and has no feeling.

Your heart’s broken your mind no longer your own. What about your soul! What soul? Is there a god?… If so, why does he sit back and do nothing? You need to breath, but every time¬†you come up for air something reaches up and pulls you back down.¬†Leave me be! Just let me breathe for a second, ¬†I can’t swallow, I’m drowning!

Where’s all the beauty gone. This can’t be happening. I’m better than this! Why do you rob me of love and happiness, haven’t you taken enough from me?

This is MY DARKNESS, one I don’t want to drag anyone into. I’m keeping my mind focused so this darkness doesn’t one day take me away…

(SIDE NOTE):

Don’t let this post bring you down! As I said, it’s a dark place, but this is what I,¬†along with¬†many others that suffer with a mental illness, go through.

I wrote this when I was down but didn’t publish it. I decided to¬†share it now just to give you¬†insight as to what happens when Depression hits someone with Bipolar. (manic-depressive)

One minute I’m flying high.. Next I crash and don’t even always know why!!!

If you are feeling like this, know it will pass and tomorrow WILL ¬†be a better day. Force yourself out of bed… (you must do this or the bed will win along with Depression). Go for a walk and look at all the beauty that surrounds you. If it’s sunny? Close your eyes and feel the warmth of the sun on your face and feel how it energises you. Go and hug your pet. Go walk on the beach and feel the sand between your toes and listen to the waves gently crashing. Write a list of¬†all the things that are pulling you down. No one will see them unless you show them but this will help get it our of your head. Throw it out to the universe and let it go… You don’t need it! Lastly, I embrace you and surround you with love. Be strong!

¬†To those that follow me, please¬†don’t worry because I’m totally in a good place right now. *hugs to all of you*

I’m in good spirits and really am ok!!!

Remember, I’m just letting you in! I wrote this back in December 2012. Right now my mind and body are healthy.

I write this for those that live in silence as I once did. This is what no one see’s beneath the smile.

Hugs to you all…..xxx

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