Monthly Archives: October 2012

Where’s the justice in this world!

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Depression Exists

Depression Exists:

Sometimes you need to sit back say nothing and just listen… Shhhhhhhh…
Try it! Calm your mind.

Why? Because if you listen closely and you’re not just lining up to speak next, you can hear so much more!

You can hear the sadness the loneliness of so many people around you. All trying their hardest not to let their guard down.

But you’re still, and you’re finally listening. They can’t hide. You’re hearing them for the first time.

*peace and sadness in one breath*

Can you imagine that?

So do we actually listen to someone? OR ARE WE ALL JUST LINING UP TO HAVE OUR SAY????????

Depression is so much more than being lonely or sad or whatever. It’s deep and cutting to your very soul. We try to hide, not wanting people to see what’s really going on.

When Depression has you in its grip how easy it is to  block everything else out around you?!

Breathing in and out, again!  How easy is it for tears to just roll down your face. WHY? Because we hold onto so many things, and suffer in silence!

You don’t need to cry out loud because you’re already bleeding tears on the inside.

Don’t be afraid! Stop hiding! You need to just let it out! Get rid of it! And know it will soon pass!!

Breathe away the disappointment the pain the sadness the feeling of never feeling good enough etc… Get rid of it all!!!!

It’s like a poison and you don’t need it eating you from the inside out.

Having depression and crying all the time serves us no purpose!

We need to slow down  take a deep breath and try put things back into perspective!

Work through one problem at a time. Remember – Rome wasn’t built in a day!

If you know someone suffering in silence and don’t know how to approach the subject, just go and put your arms around them and let them know you’re there! You have no idea how much that will help them!!!

Do you ever just stop and listen?

image source

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Have a good weekend

Goose up close

Hi everyone,

Just wishing you all a great weekend!

Gone to hug my baby Teco (for those that don’t know that’s my Llama).

Have fun and be kind to yourself!!! 

love Paula xxxx

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Four Days in Melbourne

As you would have read, I have been to Melbourne and am now back home again!

So what did we do?

Okay!…. Imagine 5 girls in adjoining rooms getting ready for a big night out. Hairdryers going off, faces being painted, laughter… Trying to actually get out the door… Not easy!! But boy did we have a fun night! We went to 2 clubs in the Crown and danced ’til we could dance no more! What do I love about going to a club or bar early? *Yip* Half priced drinks!!

So that’s the night but what about the day?

So what did we do: Had to go check out the Victoria Street Markets. If you haven’t been and are planning a trip there it’s worth a look. The funniest thing I bought there was a hair piece: a very long hair piece. *laughing* If you want attitude just wear a hair piece. You feel like a Spice Girl!

Went to the DFO (Direct Factory Outlets). They’re great, especially if you want reasonably priced designer clothes. No way would I pay full price for some of those outfits!! Can you believe I brought a Karen Millen pair of denim shorts for $39 *smiling* Full price they were $195. OMG you’re going who would pay that? Great bargains are what make the outlets a great place to shop!

We also wandered along Bourke Street. So many beautiful clothes. Melbourne has a ton of shops – if only it were possible to see them all in 4 days!

Swam in the Crown’s pool… It’s huge and indoors. (Very nice!)

My sister and I gambled.  The girls aren’t into wasting money!! *whoops* Did I just admit that gambling is a waste of money? *laughing*… okay! I lost!!! But I had fun losing:)

Checked out some really nice restaurants along the river by Crown. Melbourne has great restaurants!.. Apart from that and drinking in between working out what to do? That’s about it.

I love my girlfriends and enjoyed spending time with them.*smiling*

Next year it’s back to BALI!

image source

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What Inspires Me

When I feel down I seek out things that inspire me. This poem really moves me, and even if you have read it before I hope you get something out of it again.

DESIDERATA

Go placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its shams, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

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Girly Time!!

Very excited to be heading off to Melbourne with my sister and some girlfriends!!..Woohoo!

Going to my favourite state (besides Perth!)… Yes! It’s Melbourne!!!

Love the casino so that’s where I’m heading!… I love the buzz that casinos have.

Now I am a little hesitant about mentioning my love of the excitement, colour and drama of casinos. Gambling is a serious social issue, and problem gamblers create awful situations for themselves and their loved ones. Please accept that my love of time in casinos is in no way an endorsement of inappropriate gambling or the irresponsible promotion of gambling. Problem gambling ruins lives – but when it is a moderated activity, gambling can a lot of fun.

Shopping is definitely on the agenda, followed by relaxing in the heated pool.

Night time we shall hunt down great restaurants where we will catch up on everyone’s news, which I’m sure will bring about lots of joking and laughter!

4 days of peace for our other halves. *laughing*

I hope you get time alone to spend with your friends? We only do it maybe once or twice a year but it’s worth the wait.

I have scheduled a post while I am away to keep you entertained. haha.

Catch you on the flip side:) xx

image source

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A peek at my beautiful Llamas

These two delight and amuse me. Every weekend I spend time with them and each visit lifts my spirits. Pets really do bring with them a huge amount of love and affection.

I hope you enjoy seeing them. I will share more glimpses of my farm soon.

(Sorry about the wind noise – I will try and fix that in future videos.)

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Headaches

OMG! I have had sooo many of these since taking meds and stopping meds.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I can’t always blame Seroquel for everything! *smiles*

I totally suck when it comes to drinking water!.. My poor body is probably soooo dehydrated. Drinking 1 glass a day is a huuuge effort for me. So with the warmer weather now upon us… I’m going to make drinking water one of my priorities!

Along with ramblingsfromamum‘s affirmation she gave me:

Hello, Brand New Day – I Am In Control & You Will NOT Beat Me!!!!

Maybe throwing a slice of lemon in the water might help?

I’m off to see my Llamas… Have a great weekend everyone!!

Paula x

p.s. I had some technical issues with the video I planned to post… I will take more footage this weekend and try again when I come back.

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Depression Exists

Depression Exists:

Because the ability to rationalise things gets taken away from me. My  mind plays tricks and confuses me into thinking everything around is doom and gloom, instead of just accepting that not everything in life is perfect and the PAST IS IN THE PAST!

So I  sit there and let my  mind just drift into the emptiness that I’m feeling.

Depression leads to anxiety and then I’m  feeling like someone is strangling me and I can’t breathe.

You see laughter but you can’t hear it!

You see beauty but you can’t feel it!

Everything is nothing and nothing is everything!

Where is the sun? because I can’t feel its warmth,

Where is the rain because I don’t feel wet?

It’s a lonely, confused and lost place. Death consumes my weakened mind.

I beg my mind to be happy and think about the present and how much pain I would cause if I died.

You Don’t Control Depression! Depression Controls You!

These words always echo in my mind!

I won’t let my depression ever take a hold of me again to the point where I think death is my only escape. I will fight and keep on fighting because life is a gift and It would destroy those that love me. I would destroy so many lives and I have no right to do such a thing.

So does Depression Control Me? At times…Yes! But that’s not a reason to give up fighting it!

Never give up! Let love and light into your world.

Seek help anywhere you can because you’re not worthless, you’re something – and someone out there loves you more than life itself.

If you’re gone, they’re gone!

xxxxx

image source

 

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Reader Appreciation

Logo for the reader appreciation awardsunshine-award If there is one thing that can drag a person out of their shell then the world of internet blogs is it. Now this may sound a little ridiculous, given that I am writing highly personal impressions, thoughts and experiences on a public blog – but anyone who has taken the time to read my posts would know that there are times when I find it incredibly difficult to “leave the cave”. Starting the depressionexists.com blog has been very much a challenge, sometimes easier than others but never actually easy. However, this is one time that I can truly say, “it’s easy”. It is easy because of the huge support and optimism and expressions of caring that you, the blog reader, have provided to me. So when a two people recommended me for the Reader Appreciation award, let’s just say, the emotions bubbled over. Here is my go at being worthy of the award nomination. My apologies if I  don’t get it exactly right – but feel free to comment so I can change things to be correct.

Firstly, a very big THANK YOU! to Jenny at ramblingsofamum and Karen at slightlymanicmummyfor nominating me for the Reader Appreciation Award and the Sunshine Award. Both Jenny and Karen have been very supportive of my blogging efforts, and i am so very much indebted to them. If you haven’t already done so, please spend an enjoyable time looking through their writings and insights. Here are the rules for the awards… The rules for receiving these awards are as follows.

  1. Provide a link and thank the blogger who nominated you for this award/s.
  2. Answer 10 questions.
  3. Nominate 10-12 blogs that you find a joy to read.
  4. Provide links to these nominated blogs and kindly let the recipients know that they have been nominated.
  5. Include the award logo within your blog post.

And then there is the awkward task of answering 10 questions. OK. Here goes…

Your favourite colour? :

Pink. It makes me happy. Simple as that.

Your favourite animal? :

Cats. Specifically my cat – Sakura. She is my favourite person as well.

Your favourite non-alcoholic drink? :

Is there a non-alcoholic drink? Looking through my pantry, there are bags of tea, and those cool capsules for the Nespresso coffee machine. Given the rarity of my making coffee, I’d have to say my favourite is tea.

Facebook or Twitter? :

What is Twitter? I am a complete novice on this but one day I would like to take the Twitter journey.

Your favourite pattern? :

Floral. And probably a pink one at that.

Do you prefer getting or giving presents? :

Giving.

Your favourite number? :

5. It’s just the easiest. I’m so indecisive that anything other than the more obvious middle is just too hard.

Your favourite day of the week? :

It has to be Friday.

Your favourite flower?:

Azalia.

Pink Azalea Flower

How could anyone not love this flower? (photo is linked to source)

What is your passion? :

Do I have to have one? Actually, one of my character flaws is an obsessive tendency… so my passion today can be completely different to my passion tomorrow. If i had to nominate just one then I guess it would be collecting clowns. Lots of people don’t like clowns and many people tell me that find clowns scary – but I don’t. I LOVE clowns, and add to my collection quite often.

ok. That’s my 10 questions answered… And now to nominate blogs that i enjoy. Even though i am quite new to this blog experience, there are already a number of blogs that immediately come to mind for nomination. As you would expect, there is a different reason for liking each one, and often more than one reason. They make me happy or make me think or just make me feel – and a blog that leaves me with feelings even after moving on to read other things, is a very great blog indeed in my mind. There are more again that i enjoy but rules are rules, so i will stick to the nominated number. Please just remember that no list can ever fully cover all of the things that you like or love, and there are others again that i find very enjoyable, and that help me through my days. Lovely bloggers I nominate:

1. Irish Katie

2. Despair and Angst

3. Stillthinking

4. Meg’s Egg

5. Between Fear and Love

6. Heaven 4 Earth

7. Forcing Myself Happy

8. One Thousand Single Days

9. 400 Days ’til 40

10. Treating Mood Disorders

These blogs move and inspire me and make me feel a little less lonesome in this big crazy adventure we call life. It’s so hard to choose only 10 when there are so many blogs out there that I love and follow here in this supportive space online.

Love Paula

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