They look so harmless – yet they can help or harm depending on so many different things
I had taken sleeping pills for most of my adult life, but I hadn’t taken any other prescription medications for depression etc.
After 6 months of therapy I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar 2 disorder; Anxiety and Mood Disorder (academic reviews of this disorder can be found here), Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder.
Wow, try taking that all in. I thought to myself “god, I’m officially crazy”. I always knew I was different, but not that different. 🙂
These were some of the medications I was put on:
Please remember that i am simply sharing my experiences. You MUST NOT deal with any of these drugs unless you are seeing your doctor to make sure that everything is in accordance with the medication’s impacts and side-effects as they relate to your specific condition.
I realise now that it can take your Doctor some time before they find the right dosages, and meds that best suit you. So I had to be patient, and wait to see what worked best for me. Although, at the time I felt like I was going crazy, just from all the medication I was given.
Still I was recovering from a nervous breakdown and had to wait till I got healthy again in my mind and body, until I could once again start making descisions for myself.
I had to trust that they had my best interest at heart.
But as I started to get better ,I struggled with the fact that I had made it to 42 years of age without medication, so why now am I not coping and needing to take it? My doctor had repeatedly told me that I had climbed mountains in my lifetime and had made it to the top, and that I can do it again. I don’t think he even realised how important or strong those words were to me during those healing days.
He was right – I was going to find that inner strength again no matter how long it took me. I decided that there was no way I’m going to take all this medication every single day, for the rest of my life.
One night whilst taking medication for : Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, I found myself stuck in my kitchen polishing my bench tops with 5 different tea-towels. No matter what, the bench still wasn’t shiny enough for me, I was bending down looking sideways for any streaks I may have left. I felt like I was going crazy, and was about to break down crying. I knew I was obsessing, but I just couldn’t stop myself. That was when I knew I had to get back to that place I went to for all those years, that had some how, helped me with that Obsessive side. Its not that I hadn’t obsessed in the past,because I had! It’s just that I had better control over it. So I thought, hang on, you’re on meds and you are still obsessing. Why is that?! – something has to change. I slowly kept decreasing the meds I was on,until I finally got down to just the Seroquel. I suffered many headaches and did lots of crying, but it was all worth it.When I told my psychiatrist he was a bit reluctant to praise me, as he didn’t want me to relapse. Truth be known, nor did I, but I was going to give it a damned good shot. So I agreed to stay on the Seroquel as I knew it helped my mind stay calm and not be all over the place.
The only medication I take now is the Seroquel, which is a great medication. It helps put me to sleep, and stops thoughts from racing so fast through my head. The only thing that bothers me taking Seroquel is the cravings I get during the night.I actually wake up and go to the fridge and seek out sweet things. Shocking for the waist line 🙂 I’ve gone from 54kilo’s to 58 kilo’s, in the last few months. My doctor has suggested I try eat carrots every time I get the urge to binge eat. Well, I tried that, but my will power sucks! I have hired an exercise bike, with the hope that it will keep control of my weight ( fingers crossed).
It’s the only side affect that bothers me, so I’m continuing with the medication.
Everyone is different, and we take medications for different reason., It’s WHAT WORKED FOR ME! Playing around with your Meds can be dangerous and shouldn’t really be done without your doctors guidance.
Not been medicated for most of my life was the reason I refused to start now. In saying that though, I had to admit defeat when it came to the Seroque, because I had never known a peace inside my head like that, until i started taking it. If you have Bi-Polar you would know what I’m talking about. When I’m happy,I’m ecstatic, when I’m down, I’m really down. It’s like been on a roller coaster ride, but one you can’t get off.
No one wants to become a victim to the drug companies! So, if you can reduce the amount you are on, and still be well, isn’t that what we are all looking for? It’s not that I’m against medication because I’m not. But if you can decrease the amount you take and still be well, then that’s a beautiful thing.
Remember to stay under the guidance of your doctor, and good luck with finding what best suits you.
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