What a Year!

Hey, how’s life treating you all??

Wow, I’ve kind of neglected my blog lately and have been feeling really bad about that, SORRY!!! 🙂

I’ve had good days and bad days, rainbow days and every other kind of day you can think of. Some days I felt that if I wrote I would pull the world down with me, and other days I would have lifted you as high as the sky. I guess the benefits and downfalls of being Bipolar, right??    Lol

Can you believe another year has almost past us by again. Sometimes life just flows and you float along with it; other days, they pass so quickly you nearly miss them. This year has been an enormous rollercoaster ride of emotions for me. Depression – eat your heart out!! Lol You thought you could beat me but I beat you this time. If I was going to fall apart like I did a few years ago? Then this was the year it should have happened.

I separated from my husband, which was one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to make. I left my home and farm and my beloved llamas (Teco and Margie). My son and his wife separated. I went to Melbourne for a funeral. My step dad is fighting cancer and someone dear to me wanted to commit suicide and it all tore me apart. I’ve been on the Queen Mary around New Zealand, and spent 5 weeks in the U.K. I’ve been to Victoria and Tasmania and seen nature at it’s best in Oz. I’ve cried and sat down on my kitchen floor and wondered how I would make it to the next day. I’ve asked the universe to give me strength and to help me get to the next day, without wanting to give in.  And I’ve pleaded with myself to have courage to fight the darkness that at times overwhelms me. So, this is the year I should have fallen apart… But I didn’t!

How did I make it? Well, I met someone that gave me the strength to believe in me and loved me for me, all of me the good and the bad. Who knows what will become of it but I believe everything happens for a reason and I needed this person to get me where I am right now and for that I am truly grateful. People come and go from our lives and touch us in many ways.  Sometimes they are hurtful ways, and sometimes they are so beautiful and you wonder how you lived without them. But I think the most important thing is to learn something from all of them. Life is full of experiences, good and bad. We have to breath in the good and exhale the bad until it controls us no more. I feel optimistic about the future and am looking forward to 2014.

I went to the beach recently and looked at the ocean and thought how calm and peaceful it looked. Yet I know there are days that nature thrashes against the shore and you get blown away. But the next day it’s all peaceful and beautiful again. I think this is what life is like. There will always be good and bad days and people who want to drag you down with them. But we need to stay grounded amidst the storms and not let other people’s disharmony pull us down. Those that don’t support you don’t deserve you in their lives.

Stand tall and proud and embrace your joy with those whom love and support you! Release the others with love and let them be on there way as they serve you no good.

So, as I sit here at my desk and write this, I thank the universe for giving me two sons that I adore. They are one of the main reasons I have for waking every single day. They have grown in to such beautiful young men and I feel that they make my world worthwhile. I see how they love their girlfriends and how happy they make them. As a mother, this makes my heart sing! To see your children in pain is crushing, but when they are smiling laughing and telling jokes? Ahhh it’s so precious and you can’t help but smile and be in awe of them.

I saw a man recently begging for money. He said he had no power, food etc. I stopped and talked to him and gave him some money. I don’t care if he was not telling the truth. Why? because no one does that if they are happy and living an okay life. Only people that feel as if it’s there only option turn to begging. If that’s their only source of income then I believe I should help in any way I can. I’m not saying everyone else should, I’m just saying that’s how I feel about it.

So to me this is a good year – yes things have been hard, but I’m not on the streets having to beg and wonder where my next meal is coming from.  At this time of year, people in less fortunate positions deserve so much compassion.  Those alone that have nothing, No family friends or anyone to turn to for comfort.

So Paula hugs you all, and I hope that you too have found a peace in yourself and can let the past be the past, and start to look forward to a much brighter and happier 2014!

You, the blogging family/community, have helped me get through this year in more ways than one. You have allowed me to express my feelings and throw them into cyberspace where I have had nothing but full support throughout the year. You are all truly amazingly beautiful people and I adore each one of you. After blogging for sometime now you start to get little images of what you think your regular followers look like etc. So Yes, i’m talking to you and you and you and you! Yes You!! Lol  I can’t help but laugh as Sakura just looked at me as if I’m crazy! 🙂

I have images of all of you and they are all good images of great people I admire and respect, and I enjoy getting to know you all through your blogs and mine. You truly are like a little extended family to me. From all races and walks of life we all come together as one, and this is the magic of our WordPress family! I am more open here with you than I am to those around me in the real world. I say thank goodness for WordPress and it’s co- founders. 🙂

What have I learnt this year? Well, we can’t ever change the past but we can seek out the future happiness we all so desire and deserve.

I thank every single one of you that have come to my site and touched my heart with your kindness. You have picked me up, when even I didn’t know how I would get there. You are all incredibly beautiful people who have been generous with your love and support and I hug all of you for it! 🙂

Next year I plan to share a lot more of my life through photos, video posts and basically let you into all the mundane things life has to offer along with all the great things. Hell, I’ll even tell you what coffee I drink, as long as you tell me what your is?? Lol

Love to you all, Paula xxxxx

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Happy Friday!

Hope you all have a lovely weekend!

Hugs

Paula xxx

 

Falling in Love

What an interesting subject! One that comes with butterflies in your stomach, feeling of euphoria, and sleepless nights.

Unfortunately, it also can come with heartache and, at times, a whole lot of pain, right? Lol

So – is it best to have loved completely and to have lost a love, than to have never loved at all?

I think it is.

Even with all the heartache and pain that it can sometimes come with! I think if we haven’t loved then we haven’t truly lived as life is full of risks, right?
So why not risk seeing if that person really is the one?

A sad fact is that some people fall into a deep Depression over losing their love, which is terrible. Unfortunately, you just can’t make someone love you.

Sometimes you can love someone for many years, and then one day something changes and you no longer feel the same way. Like I said it can be Depressing, painful, crushing and at times you may even feel there’s nothing worth living for. But the love you lost was still something beautiful that you were lucky to experience, right?   Would you have preferred to have not loved that person and not had those experiences with them if you had a crystal ball and could have seen it wasn’t going to last? Again a hard one. Because at the time you are so Depressed that the answer will always probably be, no, it wasn’t worth it! More than likely because we are too hurt to see anything else. Lets face it… No one wants to lose something they love, agreed? But again, at least you had that love and at that time for whatever the reason? it was the right love for you at that time.

Can love last forever and can we love more than once? I mean really love, not lust! Maybe our first love is our only true love and do we settle for second best from then on in?

Why do we always remember that first love? And now for a lot of us it can go way back to our school days. Remember, the boy you loved that didn’t know you existed! “Ouch” I do!!! Lol

I named my oldest son after my first love/crush on a boy that actually fell for my friend. I remember being devastated when they started dating and she wasn’t really fazed by him either way. Here I was, totally in teenage love and she was like, Meh whatever! Take him or leave him. Noooo you leave him and I’ll take him. 🙂 Guess what? It never happened. LMAO I only hope all these years later he found his true love and lived happily ever after, Not!!! Lol  Okay that’s mean, I take it back. Haha

We learn early that we can’t always get what we want…. Just like the song, right?

You can’t always get what you want

But if you try sometimes well you just might find

You get what you need!! 🙂  Hey, ask Mick Jagger he knows. LMAO

People come and go from our lives; they touch our hearts and souls and then sometimes then leave us, for whatever the reason/reasons.  We cry, feel crushed and think there will never be a love like that one. Yet time heals everything and before you know it? Love has touched you again. Your world is once again shining. When you’re in love… You are impenetrable! And this is why when it leaves us, we fall apart! But, sometimes they have to leave us to make way for the one! Yes, that’s right – another one…. But this time this is The One!!

Because love will always feel like, The One!! 🙂

Therefore, I believe we are all in the right place and doing what we are supposed to be doing and no matter how painful and how many people we love and have lost? IT IS BETTER TO HAVE LOVED THAN TO HAVE NOT LOVED AT ALL!

That person has helped mould you to the person you are today. Whether that be good… or bad.

We Love Learn And Grow!!

I’ll never stop loving because I want to know I’m alive! 🙂

Oohh and for reference in case your thinking I’ve fallen in love? Well, I have! It’s with the whole world, My blog family! Lol

So, do you think you can truly be in love more than once in your life? Or have you been one of the lucky ones and held onto that childhood sweetheart?

Love and hugs to you all. May you keep loving forever!

Hugs again, Paula xxxxx

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Sakura, my love

I did a post about Sakura months ago and have been asked to post a photo of her many times since then.

So without further ado…. Here is the great love of my life!

Sakura is 10 in human years and is a very small cat. Although she’s a moggy cat she thinks she’s a pedigree. Lol

Her name means cherry blossom in Japanese. Her nicknames are Kura and Princess. No matter what time of the day or night I come home, 9 out of 10 times she’s half asleep waiting at the front door to greet me.

When I sleep she cuddles right into me like a teddy bear. Because I have insomnia and sleep apnea she can tell when my breathing changes and she nudges me to wake up. I’ve always found this sixth sense in animals incredible. If she feels I’ve neglected her, she goes to her toy box picks a toy out, then calls for me to play with her. And If I ignore her? Lordy… She just howls louder. She’s an inside cat and has never gone outside. The house I recently moved from was really large and she had plenty of space, so don’t feel sorry for her. However the house I am currently renting is only 3 bed 1 bathroom. Her old house was 5 bedrooms 3 bathrooms, but like the vet said – she’s older and more settled than when she was younger and wanting to  race from one end of the house to the other, up the stairs, down the stairs, up the stairs… You get the message. Lol

The vet tells me the space is sufficient and not to stress. So I’m not going to fret over it. 🙂

I also have 2 weiros (small parrots). I love birds so much – a good reason I don’t want her outside, being able to hunt and hill the native wildlife. Plus if she’s sleeping in my bed tucked under my arm? I don’t need birdie breath breathing on me. LMAO
Yet this is another thing I find fascinating – who likes morning breath? No one, right? But as I wake sometimes her nose is pressed right up against my mouth. Yikes!! At this point you’re probably cringing, right? Nonetheless I’ll continue… Hopefully without totally grossing you out. Lol. Now, no one else would do that without telling you to go brush your teeth, agreed? LMAO But to my princess… I’m mum and that smell is what tells her I’m mum. She can’t get close enough to me.

She loves my morning breath, my messy hair, my sexy elmo P.J’s. Lol. No matter what, she just loves me. Now, WHO WOULDN’T want someone like that in their lives? 🙂

She frequently follows me around like a puppy dog, waiting for me to finish whatever I’m doing as she’s dying to hop on my lap. The moment my laptop is on? She’s on my knee looking at the screen and following the letters. She does this until she can’t stay awake and then curls back up on my lap.

She is honestly like a child to me and brings so much joy to my world. If I’m down, and feeling low, and especially if I cry, she will smother with love… Almost as if she knows I have to smile and it’s her duty to make sure I do. It’s really peculiar, and makes me love her all the more.

With her in my life, I never feel completely alone. She loves me unconditionally, and I give the same back to her.

Maryanne, who I follow and vice versa, just lost her beloved Billy cat after 19 years. When she cried I cried for her as I can imagine the pain of losing something you have loved for so very long. My heart goes out to Maryanne and Dennis…. Love to you, Maryanne!

I know Sakura won’t live forever, so I cherish each and every day that I have her in my life.
As I type this, she’s watching on my knee. Lol

Do you have a pet that you adore like a child? A sweet little animal that loves you, morning breath and all?

Hugs to you all, Paula xxxxx

I love…

I love sunshine, and how when it hits my face I feel alive and invigorated.

I love my family and friends, for they keep me strong and don’t allow me to fall down.

I love colour, for the world isn’t black and white.

I love to look at the ocean; it keeps me calm.

I love the garden because it keeps me close to nature.

I love butterflies for they look so graceful when they fly.

I love dancing, as it wakes my soul.

I love the moon and how I gaze in wonder.

I love Sakura for she is the great love of my life and brings me peace.

I love all people of all races and religion… We are all connected.

I love chocolate – it lifts dark clouds! 

I love watching children play and listening to their laughter. So innocent and free.

I love Game Of Thrones!! 🙂

I love travelling, But when that plane arrives back in Australia? That’s when I’m truly home.

I love today; the sun is shining!

I love our blogging family/community

Ohhh and I love Bourbon. Lol

What do you love?

Hugs to you all. Paula xxxxxooo

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I have the ‘net!! (Yay!)

Hello my lovely blog family!

I’m so happy – my internet connection was set up today! 

Woohoo! It only took a month. Lol  That’s Telstra for you!

I love this song. 🙂

Love hugs and good wishes to you all.

Paula xxxx

Children/Grandchildren part 2

My sons are now 21 and 28, and my grandchildren are 3 and 7.

What have I learnt as a parent?

You can’t fix world hunger by telling your children that kids in other parts of the world are starving. It’s hard for your children to get a grasp of how big the world is and how lucky they are to be born into a first world society.

The world is not going to fall apart because your kids aren’t like others and don’t go to bed when told. Why did I compare myself to others?

They aren’t going to get hugely sick because they don’t eat all veggies. And it’s not going to shape what they eat for the rest of their lives. Why? Because as they get older they work this one out themselves. You can shove it down all you like, but that doesn’t mean they will continue to eat it as an adult!

Don’t give yourself a heart-attack if they don’t do there homework . They will learn and pay for their own mistakes.  If school doesn’t come together smoothly, there are always bridging courses. If you instill them with the motivation to want to achieve, there are all sorts of ways for them to get there.

The list goes on and on.

Overall, what you need to do is love them, protect them and teach them right from wrong. Will they get it straight away? Maybe… Maybe not! But you give them these things, that’s the best we can do. The rest is up to them.

Just like us – you live grow and learn. Learning by our mistakes is all a part of the bigger picture. I adore my sons like every parent adores their children.

Do what you think is right, not what anyone else perceives to be right. This is so important  They are your children and as long as you’re not harming then, it really has nothing to do with anyone! Of course people will judge – and at times say things to you – but it’s your ship and it is up to you how you sail it. Let them sail theirs. Never compare your parenting skills to others. Each child is different! You will only fret unnecessarily. They all grow up and learn from their own mistakes.

Children will work out what they want in the end. Or at least we hope they do! We just have to stay sane in the process!! Lol Be proud of yourself and your own abilities to get it right. Because at the end of the day, who is right?

Before I go, I must share this recent experience – my grandson asked me to draw with him.
Me: Oh no, what – a stick figure?
Him: No, a Mac truck with trailers.
Me: Really?! Ummm okay!
Well, when I showed him my drawing, I told him nana is no good at drawing. He looked at it and told me I’m a REALLY REALLY good drawer. My heart melted!!
My grandsons rush to hug me when I go to the property and follow me everywhere telling me how much they missed me! Ahhh so beautiful and innocent! This is why being a grandparent is so priceless. I’m not going to yell at them to get inside and pack up their toys, or hurry and get in the shower. I’m just going to help them pack up and turn the shower on!! 🙂 They seem to make everything in life worthwhile. I really like the feeling that children, and then grandchildren, can give your life purpose.

On a sadder note, my son and wife have called it a day and are getting divorced. I feel really sad about this, but at the end of the day their lives are their lives. The most important thing for me now is to let my grandkids know I will always be there for them no matter what. Who would have thought a mother and son would be separating from their partners at the same time.  Very strange and very sad.

So, are you an adoring grandparent or still at the parenting pulling your hair out stage? 🙂

Hugs

Paula

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Happy Weekend!!

Hello my lovely fellow bloggers!! 🙂

Hope you are having a great weekend. See you back here on Monday! 🙂

Hugs to you all.  Paula xxxxx

Happy Weekend!

Happy weekend, Everyone!!

Have an awesome weekend. This is one of my favourite songs!

Let’s get down and dance together. You know you have to groove in that seat, right??

LOL Click those fingers and move those hips. You know you want to! 

Hugs to you all….Paula xxx

P.S Sorry to my Little Cyber Brother in Pakistan who can’t see this! 

Happy Weekend, Nafees! x

Happy!!

Today I sit here and feel happy and at peace.

Days like this are priceless and I embrace them. Just as I embrace and hug you lovely people!!

We all need to feel love and be loved, so why not share that joy and tell someone today how special they are to you?

Maybe it’s your mum, dad, brother, sister, husband, wife…  Whoever is important to you, tell them! It may sound odd to just randomly come out with this stuff, especially if you’re not one to do so. But imagine how good you will make that person feel! And how good it will feel for you. Ahhh, so lovely!!

As I sit here and write I am surrounded by things I love. Now don’t laugh – a lot of those things are clowns, angels, mannequins, puppets, Disney characters, court jesters, elves… Yip, you get the message! This 45 year old woman still hasn’t grown up! I have my own very special magical room. Lol. Do we have to grow up just because we reach a certain age?? NO WAY!!!  I so can’t stop laughing! I say be happy and free from conforming!! I say rebel have fun and dance like no one is looking!

So, go and hug someone! 

Love to you all… Paula xxxx