My sons are now 21 and 28, and my grandchildren are 3 and 7.
What have I learnt as a parent?
You can’t fix world hunger by telling your children that kids in other parts of the world are starving. It’s hard for your children to get a grasp of how big the world is and how lucky they are to be born into a first world society.
The world is not going to fall apart because your kids aren’t like others and don’t go to bed when told. Why did I compare myself to others?
They aren’t going to get hugely sick because they don’t eat all veggies. And it’s not going to shape what they eat for the rest of their lives. Why? Because as they get older they work this one out themselves. You can shove it down all you like, but that doesn’t mean they will continue to eat it as an adult!
Don’t give yourself a heart-attack if they don’t do there homework . They will learn and pay for their own mistakes. If school doesn’t come together smoothly, there are always bridging courses. If you instill them with the motivation to want to achieve, there are all sorts of ways for them to get there.
The list goes on and on.
Overall, what you need to do is love them, protect them and teach them right from wrong. Will they get it straight away? Maybe… Maybe not! But you give them these things, that’s the best we can do. The rest is up to them.
Just like us – you live grow and learn. Learning by our mistakes is all a part of the bigger picture. I adore my sons like every parent adores their children.
Do what you think is right, not what anyone else perceives to be right. This is so important They are your children and as long as you’re not harming then, it really has nothing to do with anyone! Of course people will judge – and at times say things to you – but it’s your ship and it is up to you how you sail it. Let them sail theirs. Never compare your parenting skills to others. Each child is different! You will only fret unnecessarily. They all grow up and learn from their own mistakes.
Children will work out what they want in the end. Or at least we hope they do! We just have to stay sane in the process!! Lol Be proud of yourself and your own abilities to get it right. Because at the end of the day, who is right?
Before I go, I must share this recent experience – my grandson asked me to draw with him.
Me: Oh no, what – a stick figure?
Him: No, a Mac truck with trailers.
Me: Really?! Ummm okay!
Well, when I showed him my drawing, I told him nana is no good at drawing. He looked at it and told me I’m a REALLY REALLY good drawer. My heart melted!!
My grandsons rush to hug me when I go to the property and follow me everywhere telling me how much they missed me! Ahhh so beautiful and innocent! This is why being a grandparent is so priceless. I’m not going to yell at them to get inside and pack up their toys, or hurry and get in the shower. I’m just going to help them pack up and turn the shower on!! 🙂 They seem to make everything in life worthwhile. I really like the feeling that children, and then grandchildren, can give your life purpose.
On a sadder note, my son and wife have called it a day and are getting divorced. I feel really sad about this, but at the end of the day their lives are their lives. The most important thing for me now is to let my grandkids know I will always be there for them no matter what. Who would have thought a mother and son would be separating from their partners at the same time. Very strange and very sad.
So, are you an adoring grandparent or still at the parenting pulling your hair out stage? 🙂