Children/Grandchildren part 2

kids-paint-hands-art

My sons are now 21 and 28, and my grandchildren are 3 and 7.

What have I learnt as a parent?

You can’t fix world hunger by telling your children that kids in other parts of the world are starving. It’s hard for your children to get a grasp of how big the world is and how lucky they are to be born into a first world society.

The world is not going to fall apart because your kids aren’t like others and don’t go to bed when told. Why did I compare myself to others?

They aren’t going to get hugely sick because they don’t eat all veggies. And it’s not going to shape what they eat for the rest of their lives. Why? Because as they get older they work this one out themselves. You can shove it down all you like, but that doesn’t mean they will continue to eat it as an adult!

Don’t give yourself a heart-attack if they don’t do there homework . They will learn and pay for their own mistakes.  If school doesn’t come together smoothly, there are always bridging courses. If you instill them with the motivation to want to achieve, there are all sorts of ways for them to get there.

The list goes on and on.

Overall, what you need to do is love them, protect them and teach them right from wrong. Will they get it straight away? Maybe… Maybe not! But you give them these things, that’s the best we can do. The rest is up to them.

Just like us – you live grow and learn. Learning by our mistakes is all a part of the bigger picture. I adore my sons like every parent adores their children.

Do what you think is right, not what anyone else perceives to be right. This is so important  They are your children and as long as you’re not harming then, it really has nothing to do with anyone! Of course people will judge – and at times say things to you – but it’s your ship and it is up to you how you sail it. Let them sail theirs. Never compare your parenting skills to others. Each child is different! You will only fret unnecessarily. They all grow up and learn from their own mistakes.

Children will work out what they want in the end. Or at least we hope they do! We just have to stay sane in the process!! Lol Be proud of yourself and your own abilities to get it right. Because at the end of the day, who is right?

Before I go, I must share this recent experience – my grandson asked me to draw with him.
Me: Oh no, what – a stick figure?
Him: No, a Mac truck with trailers.
Me: Really?! Ummm okay!
Well, when I showed him my drawing, I told him nana is no good at drawing. He looked at it and told me I’m a REALLY REALLY good drawer. My heart melted!!
My grandsons rush to hug me when I go to the property and follow me everywhere telling me how much they missed me! Ahhh so beautiful and innocent! This is why being a grandparent is so priceless. I’m not going to yell at them to get inside and pack up their toys, or hurry and get in the shower. I’m just going to help them pack up and turn the shower on!! 🙂 They seem to make everything in life worthwhile. I really like the feeling that children, and then grandchildren, can give your life purpose.

On a sadder note, my son and wife have called it a day and are getting divorced. I feel really sad about this, but at the end of the day their lives are their lives. The most important thing for me now is to let my grandkids know I will always be there for them no matter what. Who would have thought a mother and son would be separating from their partners at the same time.  Very strange and very sad.

So, are you an adoring grandparent or still at the parenting pulling your hair out stage? 🙂

Hugs

Paula

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35 Comments

Filed under My experiences, What makes me happy

35 responses to “Children/Grandchildren part 2

  1. youngish and hot grandma out there in Australia 😉 Best wishes

  2. these are all such good points. i was married and had children very young, and found myself single at a young age as well. my 3 daughters,now all grown, and i, have each taken a route to adulthood that was the usual to get to where we are and it reflected who we each are. at this point, they are each married with 3 young children, and i relish the role of grandmother to 6. this time, as you described, i see it a bit differently, taking time and having an approach that is calmer and wiser. best, beth

    • In hear you about the calmer and wiser!

      My oldest was like a play friend because I was so young. That’s why we are so close.
      My youngest I was lot more sensible and munmified! I dont think thats a real word! Lol

      Wow! 3 daughters…I only wanted 1. 🙂
      Unfortunately men reign supreme in my family! Hugs to you all. Paula xxx

  3. I agree with Nafees — you are a hot grandma! I loved all this great advice as I see my nephew not eating any vegetables. It’s true it will work itself out. I related to the art thing too. For a year I baby sat a 9-year-old girl. She often wanted to draw and she’d tell me how great my drawing was even though I just view it as folk art. It’s amazing how children see us!

    • Haha!

      For sure, Maryanne. 🙂
      To them we are magical…even when we aren’t! Its just beautiful. Honestly, your nephew will be fine. 🙂
      You will worry as your the adoring aunt, but he will grow up strong none the less!

      Thank you for the compliment, you and Nafees are beautiful! Hugs Paula xxx

  4. I don’t have kids yet but one day wish to be caring and loving grand ma like you. I am sure I need lots of tips then 🙂 It is so lucky to be surrounded by people who love and adore you.

    • Morning!
      🙂
      It really is. I’m from a big family myself which is dominated by men.
      When a girl is born into our family…its a huge thing! Lol
      When you have your child…boy will they have a mum that can cook!! Lol

      Your food is amazing! :). Have a great day.
      Hugs Paula xxx

  5. This was such a lovely post to read ! Love the cute way you write about things 🙂 Love the picture at the beginning ! Love you 😉

    • I’ve just checked out your blog. Looking forward to following you!

      I see like Nafees you are all celebrating now. I wish you and your family great happiness and prosperity. Thanks for the beautiful comment.

      Have a great weekend. Hugs from Oz.Paula xxx

      • Awh This is wonderful 😉 It is always good to know someone out there Likes what you write ! Thank you so much for this and Love you !
        Yes Thanks for all the sweet wishes 🙂 You are sweet 🙂 Love you !

  6. Nana, please post your drawing, I want to see it. I can just imagine you having fun with your grandchild, Paula. Good day. Perpetua.

    • I had it on the fridge and when he left I threw it out! Lol
      Im not joking Perpetua, I suck at drawing!! He just loves me and it wouldn’t matter how awful it was. I’m going to visit them tonight.
      🙂
      Hope your having a great day. Love and hugs to you. Paula xxx

  7. my kids are grown enough to have kids now thats something to look forward to

  8. waiting to be the adoring grandparent and still pulling my hair out at times! You’re a grand Nanna 🙂 xx

  9. Paula, you sound like you are as much a loving grandmother as you love being one. Those grandchildren of yours are blessed to have such an interested and loving lady in their lives. My three kids are teenagers now. The time my husband and I have invested in being there for them is paying off now; they still like our company (when they aren’t with their friends). My daughter went swimming with me at the lake this week. Today the oldest son showed me a waterfall in a river I had not been to before. I am enjoying these years more than I expected.

    Hugs ~ Wendy

    • Hey Wendy-Lee!! 🙂

      Thank you for such a beautiful compliment.
      My 3 year old grandson was unwell last night. When I turned up he came and curled into my lap. Ahhhh, so sweet! For him I don’t care if I got sick too. 🙂

      It really does show later in life the type of relationship we had with our children, whilst they were growing up. My sons are my world, my grand children are the bonus!

      You looked so pretty in that shot on the mountain! Hugs Paula xxx

  10. I love being a granny, and wish I could see more of my grandchildren. I’m so sorry that your son and his wife can’t make things work out between them. It’s always saddest for the children involved, isn’t it? Hugs to you, Paula. xx

    • It sure is, Sylvia. 🙂

      I watch my grandsons now and see the sadness when they have to leave my son. Its awful… especially for the 7 year old.

      I just have to show them I care and I’ll never let them down. Its hard as now I only see them every second weekend. Living on our farm property I would see them every weekend. Its sad and they keep asking when I’ll sleep over again. 😦

      Shame how life sometimes turns out. Hugs Sylvia!! Paula xxxx

  11. I like this, you take the pressure off of a lot of first time parents recounting your experiences…these days there seems to be so many do’s and dont’s, that it must be bewildering and scary with all that pressure. Recommended reading this is for first timers.

    • Morning from Oz!

      Thank you for that. As a parent your always worrying about one thing or another. It is true that they all grow up and work these things out themselves. I’ve seen some terror little children that have nearly driven their parents crazy…to end up the most beautiful respectful adults!
      Just take time out and some deep breaths and know they are listening…they are just testing you. All children do this and your not failing as a parent. Its all a natural part of parenting.
      Hope you had a great weekend. Hugs for the rest of the week. Paula xxxx

  12. Paula, I would like to think I am an adoring grandparent. What I love about what you said, they seem to make everything worthwhile! As soon, as I was made a grandparent, my spirit came alive again. So sorry to hear about the son and wife…I am sure it is very sad for you…but when one door closes…you know the saying…a great window will open my friend.

    • Oh boy I hope so! 🙂

      I felt the same when my grandson was born.
      I think we don’t have the same amount of stress as when we were parents. Emotionally and financially we are much better off and have more time to just love them. Let the parents do the parenting…that type of thing. Your family are all so handsome! Hugs Paula xxx

  13. We had our first grandchild two years ago and she is beautiful 🙂

    • Hello Rhys. 🙂

      I bet she is. I couldn’t think of anything better than having a daughter or granddaughter!

      But the gods didn’t favour me in that department! Lol Enjoy all the beautiful days you have with her. Hope you had or are still having a great day. Hugs Paula xxx

  14. Rohan 7 Things

    This is a great post Paula, and a good counter to the overbearing, results driven helicopter parenting that goes on. I don’t judge anyone’s parenting style, especially as I am not a parent myself! But I like the advice my grandmother gave to my father; “Feed them, love them, clothe them and keep them clean.”

    She raised 11 children in poor Ireland and the in Australia. Four of those children went on to become millionaires and all of them are still alive today.

    The point is I think some people can over-think parenting, but really all you need to do love them and take basic care, they will find their own way in the end 🙂

    I’m sorry to hear about your son’s divorce! Hopefully it is all for the best and that things will settle soon enough.

    Thanks for sharing, big hugs!

    Rohan.

    • Thanks Rohan! 🙂

      Parents are made to feel so guilty these days with all the do’s and don’ts. Your grandmother is a very wise woman. It takes a lot of courage love and strength to raise that many children. She know’s exactly what she’s talking about!

      My mum is also one of 11 children! 🙂 Hugs to you and your now extended family!! 🙂 Paula xxxx

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