What a Year!

angel year

Hey, how’s life treating you all??

Wow, I’ve kind of neglected my blog lately and have been feeling really bad about that, SORRY!!! 🙂

I’ve had good days and bad days, rainbow days and every other kind of day you can think of. Some days I felt that if I wrote I would pull the world down with me, and other days I would have lifted you as high as the sky. I guess the benefits and downfalls of being Bipolar, right??    Lol

Can you believe another year has almost past us by again. Sometimes life just flows and you float along with it; other days, they pass so quickly you nearly miss them. This year has been an enormous rollercoaster ride of emotions for me. Depression – eat your heart out!! Lol You thought you could beat me but I beat you this time. If I was going to fall apart like I did a few years ago? Then this was the year it should have happened.

I separated from my husband, which was one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to make. I left my home and farm and my beloved llamas (Teco and Margie). My son and his wife separated. I went to Melbourne for a funeral. My step dad is fighting cancer and someone dear to me wanted to commit suicide and it all tore me apart. I’ve been on the Queen Mary around New Zealand, and spent 5 weeks in the U.K. I’ve been to Victoria and Tasmania and seen nature at it’s best in Oz. I’ve cried and sat down on my kitchen floor and wondered how I would make it to the next day. I’ve asked the universe to give me strength and to help me get to the next day, without wanting to give in.  And I’ve pleaded with myself to have courage to fight the darkness that at times overwhelms me. So, this is the year I should have fallen apart… But I didn’t!

How did I make it? Well, I met someone that gave me the strength to believe in me and loved me for me, all of me the good and the bad. Who knows what will become of it but I believe everything happens for a reason and I needed this person to get me where I am right now and for that I am truly grateful. People come and go from our lives and touch us in many ways.  Sometimes they are hurtful ways, and sometimes they are so beautiful and you wonder how you lived without them. But I think the most important thing is to learn something from all of them. Life is full of experiences, good and bad. We have to breath in the good and exhale the bad until it controls us no more. I feel optimistic about the future and am looking forward to 2014.

I went to the beach recently and looked at the ocean and thought how calm and peaceful it looked. Yet I know there are days that nature thrashes against the shore and you get blown away. But the next day it’s all peaceful and beautiful again. I think this is what life is like. There will always be good and bad days and people who want to drag you down with them. But we need to stay grounded amidst the storms and not let other people’s disharmony pull us down. Those that don’t support you don’t deserve you in their lives.

Stand tall and proud and embrace your joy with those whom love and support you! Release the others with love and let them be on there way as they serve you no good.

So, as I sit here at my desk and write this, I thank the universe for giving me two sons that I adore. They are one of the main reasons I have for waking every single day. They have grown in to such beautiful young men and I feel that they make my world worthwhile. I see how they love their girlfriends and how happy they make them. As a mother, this makes my heart sing! To see your children in pain is crushing, but when they are smiling laughing and telling jokes? Ahhh it’s so precious and you can’t help but smile and be in awe of them.

I saw a man recently begging for money. He said he had no power, food etc. I stopped and talked to him and gave him some money. I don’t care if he was not telling the truth. Why? because no one does that if they are happy and living an okay life. Only people that feel as if it’s there only option turn to begging. If that’s their only source of income then I believe I should help in any way I can. I’m not saying everyone else should, I’m just saying that’s how I feel about it.

So to me this is a good year – yes things have been hard, but I’m not on the streets having to beg and wonder where my next meal is coming from.  At this time of year, people in less fortunate positions deserve so much compassion.  Those alone that have nothing, No family friends or anyone to turn to for comfort.

So Paula hugs you all, and I hope that you too have found a peace in yourself and can let the past be the past, and start to look forward to a much brighter and happier 2014!

You, the blogging family/community, have helped me get through this year in more ways than one. You have allowed me to express my feelings and throw them into cyberspace where I have had nothing but full support throughout the year. You are all truly amazingly beautiful people and I adore each one of you. After blogging for sometime now you start to get little images of what you think your regular followers look like etc. So Yes, i’m talking to you and you and you and you! Yes You!! Lol  I can’t help but laugh as Sakura just looked at me as if I’m crazy! 🙂

I have images of all of you and they are all good images of great people I admire and respect, and I enjoy getting to know you all through your blogs and mine. You truly are like a little extended family to me. From all races and walks of life we all come together as one, and this is the magic of our WordPress family! I am more open here with you than I am to those around me in the real world. I say thank goodness for WordPress and it’s co- founders. 🙂

What have I learnt this year? Well, we can’t ever change the past but we can seek out the future happiness we all so desire and deserve.

I thank every single one of you that have come to my site and touched my heart with your kindness. You have picked me up, when even I didn’t know how I would get there. You are all incredibly beautiful people who have been generous with your love and support and I hug all of you for it! 🙂

Next year I plan to share a lot more of my life through photos, video posts and basically let you into all the mundane things life has to offer along with all the great things. Hell, I’ll even tell you what coffee I drink, as long as you tell me what your is?? Lol

Love to you all, Paula xxxxx

image source


Filed under My experiences, What makes me happy

36 responses to “What a Year!

  1. What doesn’t kill you will strengthen you, dear Paula. I am so glad to hear from you. I am keeping you and your love ones in my prayers. Universe is made by God. Blessings. Perpetua.

    • Then I love your god too and I thank you for keeping us in your prayers!
      My thoughts of Perpetua are of a beautiful bright happy witty woman, and I’m so glad to know you here through wordpress. I hug you heaps, Perpetua! Nite from OZ, Paula xxxxooooxxxxx

  2. Al

    What a fantastic post, Paula. It has been a pleasure taking this road with you this year, to be there for you when you have needed it. I will try to always be there for you.

    • Good Morning Alastair, 🙂
      You have been an amazing supporter and friend to me and I thank you!
      You have listened to me and offered great advice throughout the year and helped me find peace to go to sleep. You’re the best pen friend anyone could ask for and when you get the courage to meet your lady? She will be very lucky to have you in her life! I will always be there for you too. Have a great weekend, hugs to you, Paula xxxxx

  3. Video posts! Yay! The people on WP are really amazing, what is even more bettererer is that the touching is two way and you have made us all happy as well. You are great and I love spending time with you…all we need now is that drink… xx

    • Morning from OZ, 🙂
      Actually I think you might be nite nite? Lol The whole time thing throws me!
      You and Alastair are brilliant men and I love getting to know you both and I always read your comments to each other, through your blogs. 🙂 Wouldn’t it be so cool to have a WordPress gathering to meet all the people We’ve met here on WordPress? Ohhh and imagine how much we would drink then, right? Hahahah. 🙂 You make me happy too with all your witty comments, especially the fact you like my toes and have never seen them!! LMAO Next year I’ll paint them and post a photo of them for you! Hahahaha
      You make my feet happy!! Hahaha
      Thank you for following me and being a part of my cyber life and family. Have a great weekend, hugs Paula xxxxx

  4. yourmumknowsbest

    Hello again Paula,
    Thank you for sharing your highs and lows throughout the year and yes 2014 will be a fantastic year for you and may all your dreams come true, your boys must be your pillar of strength, you are obviously very proud of what they have achieved in their life. I am pleased to read you have met someone to provide you with the strength and happiness you needed, I too have a met someone who I think is very special so I enjoy each day as it comes. The beach is a very peaceful place where you can just let everything pass you by when looking at the waves, if you like fish and chips have them while watching the sun setting over the water, watering the garden is also very relaxing and soothing for the mind. You said in your post that your step father has cancer if he is like you a fighter I am sure he will get through, you need to keep reminding him of everything he has to look forward too.
    Thank you again for sharing your life with us, I wish you a very merry Christmas and a safe and wonderful new year, you have been an inspiration to us all over the year
    Hugs you too you Paula xxxxxssssssss

    • Hey nice to see you, 🙂
      I see you follow but don’t have your own blog. If you did? I would follow you back. So thank you for visiting and commenting throughout the year. Where do I start? Lol Your right about my boys they are brilliant. Actually they are young men (21 & 29) and I’m really proud of them. They too have been through a lot this year. Do I like Fish ‘n’ chips? Hahaha Sorry that’s a private joke with my family. Yes, I do, too much actually!! 🙂
      My step father really is a fighter and has beaten Prostate Cancer a few years ago, so I believe he can do it again. He along with my sister are my biggest supporters right now and I love them very much. I wish you all the best in your new relationship. Merry Christmas to you both and may all your dreams come true too. Hugs from Oz, Paula xxx

  5. An amazing post my darling – you certainly have had a year of ups and major downs. This has made you so much stronger – I see it in how you write now. Onward and upward – you have encouraged so many others in times when you were falling down the dark hole. This is a gift, this is special and this is who you are. You have touched the hearts of many and saved many and given them hope – and that my friend is a gift most worthy to have. I wish you an amazing Christmas with those you love. Huggssss xxxxx

    • Hey Mumsy! 🙂

      Wow, you have just said the most beautiful things about me. I love you so much and I’m so happy that I got to meet you here at WordPress. You have helped me through many a confusing times, especially earlier this year when I didn’t know if I was Arthur or Martha! You and Katiekins where my first followers to comment and I loved you both so much and still do. I so miss Katikins as I know you do too.
      WordPress is an amazing outlet filled with incredible diverse human beings and I’m so grateful for all the support. I wish you and your loved ones a brilliant Christmas also. Many hugs to you always, Paula xxxxxxxxxxx

  6. Welcome back, babe! 🙂 You’ve been missed…<3 if your step-papa is a "crab fighter", he'll make it again… lots of people with cancer(s) get to beat it and to be cancer-free if their mind is positive and optimistic, if they really want to get rid of it and to live… I know 2 men who have been prostate cancer-free for several years, they're fine, leading a normal life… good luck! 🙂
    * * *
    @"Hell, I’ll even tell you what coffee I drink, as long as you tell me what your is?" – look forward to finding out even the size of your cup, not of your bra… 🙂 let's stand up before all the barricades of life! hugs & xoxoxo, Mélanie

    • Hahahaha! 🙂
      Your last comment made me laugh so much!! Lol What the heck, the bra size is coming next year too! Hahahaha Pffft to the coffee now. I’m still laughing. See, you my darling Melanie make me smile and laugh so much. I said it before and I’ll say it again? Everyone needs a Melanie in their lives and I’m glad through WordPress you are in mine. 🙂

      Thank you for the support about my step dad. He’s a trooper and trying really hard to stay positive through his Chemo. Sadly he’s not to be with us at Christmas as he can’t be around children. Colds etc as he’s just been in hospital fighting an infection. Our fingers are crossed that the cancer in the muscle of his lower back is shrinking. Next year we will have a better idea how it’s all going. Your post of all that yummy food made me jealous! Lol Love you dearly, Melanie. Hugs from down under. Paula xxxxxxx

  7. So great to read your post, Paula, and know that in spite of all the challenges this year, you have lots of positives, and new and understanding friend in your life. I look forward to your posts next year. Sounds like they’ll be very enlightening! 😯 Have a wonderful Christmas time.
    “Stand tall and proud and embrace your joy with those who love and support you! Release the others with love and let them be on there way as they serve you no good.” This is such wise piece of advice. You’re a genius. 🙂 *hugs*

    • Afternoon Sylvia, 🙂

      Thanks so much for what you just wrote about me. I’m really happy and looking forward to next year being a year that I can start my life over again, and hopefully find the inner peace I so crave. I’ve learnt that when those that supposedly care and love you, don’t support your choices/decisions etc? Why keep them in your inner circle of trust and love. They only pull you down and make you feel bad about yourself when at the end of the day, you’re a good person who again has been made to feel really bad about yourself! Only those that love and support you deserve you in their lives. I strongly believe this now. 🙂
      You too have a great Christmas and I thank you so much for all the support you have given me. Many hugs to you, Paula xxxxx

  8. Howisbradley

    Wow. what an uplifting post. Thank you. I don’t believe in making New Years resolutions, but reading this has made me aware that I should at least take a bit of time and think about what I want in 2014. The list could be an incredibly long so I’ll have to prioritize as well. Welcome back from your hiatus.

    • Hey Bradley!
      It’s great to hear from you. I don’t make New Years resolutions either as I usually break them!! Lol But I know some things in my life need to change in order for me to release my past and look forward to a better happier future. I know it will happen, because I’m determined to make sure it does this time. Nothing will change the fact I’m Bipolar and that some days I’ll struggle, but it’s not an excuse either for not living a happy life. I/we all need to find that inner peace that makes us okay with who we are. I wish you great health and happiness. Ohhh and all the best with that list. May all your dreams come true, Bradley! I thank you for the support you have shown me .Enjoy the weekend, hugs from Oz, Paula xxxxx

  9. June

    Oh wow! This post tells me that you’re at your best.
    Greetings of peace and prosperity Paula! 🙂
    A lot has gone through in your life and you’ve been generous in sharing your ups and gracious in depicting your downs as pointers where we can learn from and pick up our selves and be better persons. This post is not much different from the older ones in a sense that it continues to inspire us, but also this post is way better because it radiates a fuller sense of happiness in you and it shimmers in a way that it also infects us thus, creating an epidemic of social ecstasy among the WP Community.
    More than the community has helped you in your journey, you have rather contributed big time in turning this into a family that could be flawed but authentic and sincere in making the world closer and a better place.
    In a word, you’ve been a “blessing” to everyone by motivating perhaps even saving those who needed more help in their daily struggles.
    Way to go Paula! Looking forward to virtually spending a brighter 2014 with you!
    Hugs hug hugs !!! 😉

    • I love you, Juney!! You are so kind and have been a great supporter and I always look forward to hearing from you, and what you have to say in your blog. We are our own little family and for that I am grateful and so happy that your a part of it! Right now, I am in a good place and I’m trying hard to stay there. Bipolar can be tricky and at times blind sights me If I’m not good to myself. If you know what I mean. Have a great week, hugs to you, Paula xxxxxxx

  10. “Some days I felt that if I wrote I would pull the world down with me, and other days I would have lifted you as high as the sky.” That’s beautiful and exactly how I feel sometimes! ❤

  11. And Paul hugs you back! 🙂 Merry Christmas / Happy Holidays, Paula.

  12. Beautiful post, Paula! So happy you are doing well! Hugs and Christmas cheer from NJ! xo

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