Tag Archives: Pets Help Settle Me

So funny!

 

I couldn’t resist sharing this, I thought it was absolutely hilarious and cute!

Hugs, Paula.
xxx

7 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Depression Exists

Thought I would touch base with the rest of the blogging community as I’ve kind of drifted away again.

When I say drift, I mean that life kind of threw the curve ball at me with my Step dad dying;  It’s now been nearly 3 weeks and I’m feeling a little better, as is my mum. He’s still very much in our hearts, but it makes you realize that life has to go on or else you would fall apart every day and then what good are you to anyone, or even yourself for that! You know when sometimes in life you make the wrong decisions, or you take the wrong turn in life and you regret the hell out of whatever bad choice or decision you have made? Well, I think from all the bad things in my life Ray was the one constant good thing that was a part of my life, so when that person goes; a part of you goes too.
At the funeral my eldest son came up to me and hugged me and said: “That would have been you if you had committed suicide and we would have been here for you.” I hugged him and cried more, because I knew he was right. Now when I’m feeling  a little low and I think life is too tiring, I think about what he said to me and let me tell you, it resonated with me!

Suicide is a selfish act, my psychiatrist always reminds me of this but sadly when a person gets to that point, they just don’t see it as that, they just want their pain to go away and apart from that, there’s not too much thought. From my point of view, it’s because you have already gone through all the if’s and but’s and there’s no real answer other than you’re unwell and all logic is out the door. It’s kind of like your pain or their pain, it’s a no-win situation. Who suffers more, you or them?
The problem is when someone is that far gone from reality you’re usually not their to save them, only they can do that and sadly more times than not, they lost the battle for life.

I suppose this is very depressing and an awful subject, but one that is sadly happening everyday somewhere around the world and for all different reasons.
Like you and me I suppose, if we knew someone was about to commit suicide and we could do something to help, we would! However in most cases it’s a silent killer and one that’s usually been thought about for some time and no matter how much we thought we could have stopped it, I don’t think we could.

So, what can we do in these situations?
Personally I think it’s to be more aware of those we love and whom we know are struggling with life in one shape or another and to just be there for them; not just want them to hurry and finish their story, but to really sit there and listen to what’s troubling them. It’s incredible how many people have no one to confide in.
Depression is a sad lonely place to be and it holds no race or prejudice, anyone can be seduced by it; I say seduced, as all our beliefs at that point can’t seem to help us, they have been pulled too far away from our reality and that’s when suicidal thoughts begin. Life feels hopeless and things just aren’t going to get better, but they can and will; Life is full of ups and downs and we have to learn to take the good with the bad, even when the bad is down right ugly and unforgivable.
I say believe in you, and all the great things you once stood for; remember the songs you once loved and singing them out loud in your car and all the memories they would bring? You didn’t care who was listening because they made you happy and bought back great memories, remember your favorite foods like your mum’s pasta or nanna’s cake she baked, and your favorite restaurant where they greeted you as if you were family? Or just the smell of certain foods that still trigger great memories. Gosh I still remember getting my first Choo-Choo bar!
It was made from aniseed and really hard to bite and my tongue and mouth would be black. Lol.  Even as a kid when my life was sad and awful in parts this still brings back great memories; What about your first car you bought and how happy you felt, even if it was a wreck you didn’t care because it meant you had freedom to go wherever we chose, right?  or your first girlfriend/boyfriend and the butterflies you got in your stomach when you saw them, your first pet or the pet you have now whom you love and adore. They fill us with unconditional love and we need them as much as they need us; these are the simple things in life that we forget and that can trigger happy memories. Life can be hard at times, and seem unfair but hold on and just try to get through this day and see what tomorrow brings. You’re not no one, you are someone special and many people love you and would be lost without you, stay strong and remember what greatness could be waiting around the corner for you, never give up on you!

So remember, that one act of kindness you give to a loved one, friend or colleague could mean everything to that person. It’s so easy to walk away from trouble than to actually take the time to listen to what someone in need has to say, even if they don’t tell you but you see something’s not right, ask, “are you okay?” That’s all it sometimes takes.

Think of this, We give money to charities to help the needy so why can’t we spare a bit of our time to those who are struggling and need guidance and help? They need it just as much as the charities, if not more!

Hugs to you all. Paula xx

18 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

My Sakura

sakura

Afternoon Everyone!

Well my Sakura has been acting really strange with her food for the past 6 weeks, so I decided to take her to the vet for a check up.

She’s a small cat and I’ve always given her Iaams biscuits and Dine or Fancy Feast wet food every other day. With the Iaams you don’t really have to give wet food but I did it just so she wouldn’t get bored with her biscuits. Unlike many other cats I’ve always been able to leave her bowl full of biscuits because she only takes little bites here and there.

Well lately she has been cutting me off on the way to get her tin food and crying at my feet to go and get more! She never ever does this. The other night I was eating my dinner and she jumped up next to me and nearly took the food out of my mouth! YIKES!! What the, “I thought?” She’s been wormed regularly even though she’s purely an indoor cat.

So off I go to the vet and he tests her urine for Diabetes, and that comes out all clear. Hmmm, okay, “what now?” now you need blood test and maybe she could have a thyroid problem as she’s also lost weight! What my baby lost weight and her mummy didn’t even notice! Bad mummy cat, I am! 🙂  Good news was that her teeth are all good as they thought maybe she had a fracture and that’s why she was by-passing the biscuits. Sigh of relief teeth all good, tick! 🙂

Hmmm so now blood was taken and I have to wait for the results. He’s testing for a few things and I’m just hoping that whatever – if anything – is wrong, that it can be fixed with medication.

BTW: Is a vet the richest profession or what? Lol the tests cost me $350.

But she is worth all my money and more. Crazy how our pets turn us all into children when we talk to them, especially when they are sick or we think they are sick, right? Haha.

Okay, since writing this yesterday and throwing it into my drafts,  my vet phoned and it seems my baby is extreme dehydrated and is refusing to drink to help that. She’s never been a big drinker but I now have to find ways to make her! Try milk, he said. So, I tried milk which she never has had and she actually drank it. Yay!!  So I tried again today and she snubbed it! Booo

Apparently the reason shes cutting me off to get her wet food is that she’s getting the moisture from it. Naughty girl. 🙂

Anyways I’m trying all the things he told me to do and will get her weighed again in 3 weeks to make sure she’s not still losing weight. He said feed her as much as her little heart desires until we can sort this out.

Sadly he thinks she’s under stress from the move even though it’s been 6 months. He said as she’s an indoor cat there could be stray cats coming to the windows when I’m out and that could be causing her stress.  He also said not drinking is almost like self sabotaging herself. 😦  My poor girl is 11 now and I suppose she’s becoming more delicate. 🙂 But it’s too hot right now for her to not drink very much.

So anyone have any tips on getting my princess to drink?

Hugs to you all, Paula xxxxx

30 Comments

Filed under My experiences, Thinking...

What a Year!

angel year

Hey, how’s life treating you all??

Wow, I’ve kind of neglected my blog lately and have been feeling really bad about that, SORRY!!! 🙂

I’ve had good days and bad days, rainbow days and every other kind of day you can think of. Some days I felt that if I wrote I would pull the world down with me, and other days I would have lifted you as high as the sky. I guess the benefits and downfalls of being Bipolar, right??    Lol

Can you believe another year has almost past us by again. Sometimes life just flows and you float along with it; other days, they pass so quickly you nearly miss them. This year has been an enormous rollercoaster ride of emotions for me. Depression – eat your heart out!! Lol You thought you could beat me but I beat you this time. If I was going to fall apart like I did a few years ago? Then this was the year it should have happened.

I separated from my husband, which was one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to make. I left my home and farm and my beloved llamas (Teco and Margie). My son and his wife separated. I went to Melbourne for a funeral. My step dad is fighting cancer and someone dear to me wanted to commit suicide and it all tore me apart. I’ve been on the Queen Mary around New Zealand, and spent 5 weeks in the U.K. I’ve been to Victoria and Tasmania and seen nature at it’s best in Oz. I’ve cried and sat down on my kitchen floor and wondered how I would make it to the next day. I’ve asked the universe to give me strength and to help me get to the next day, without wanting to give in.  And I’ve pleaded with myself to have courage to fight the darkness that at times overwhelms me. So, this is the year I should have fallen apart… But I didn’t!

How did I make it? Well, I met someone that gave me the strength to believe in me and loved me for me, all of me the good and the bad. Who knows what will become of it but I believe everything happens for a reason and I needed this person to get me where I am right now and for that I am truly grateful. People come and go from our lives and touch us in many ways.  Sometimes they are hurtful ways, and sometimes they are so beautiful and you wonder how you lived without them. But I think the most important thing is to learn something from all of them. Life is full of experiences, good and bad. We have to breath in the good and exhale the bad until it controls us no more. I feel optimistic about the future and am looking forward to 2014.

I went to the beach recently and looked at the ocean and thought how calm and peaceful it looked. Yet I know there are days that nature thrashes against the shore and you get blown away. But the next day it’s all peaceful and beautiful again. I think this is what life is like. There will always be good and bad days and people who want to drag you down with them. But we need to stay grounded amidst the storms and not let other people’s disharmony pull us down. Those that don’t support you don’t deserve you in their lives.

Stand tall and proud and embrace your joy with those whom love and support you! Release the others with love and let them be on there way as they serve you no good.

So, as I sit here at my desk and write this, I thank the universe for giving me two sons that I adore. They are one of the main reasons I have for waking every single day. They have grown in to such beautiful young men and I feel that they make my world worthwhile. I see how they love their girlfriends and how happy they make them. As a mother, this makes my heart sing! To see your children in pain is crushing, but when they are smiling laughing and telling jokes? Ahhh it’s so precious and you can’t help but smile and be in awe of them.

I saw a man recently begging for money. He said he had no power, food etc. I stopped and talked to him and gave him some money. I don’t care if he was not telling the truth. Why? because no one does that if they are happy and living an okay life. Only people that feel as if it’s there only option turn to begging. If that’s their only source of income then I believe I should help in any way I can. I’m not saying everyone else should, I’m just saying that’s how I feel about it.

So to me this is a good year – yes things have been hard, but I’m not on the streets having to beg and wonder where my next meal is coming from.  At this time of year, people in less fortunate positions deserve so much compassion.  Those alone that have nothing, No family friends or anyone to turn to for comfort.

So Paula hugs you all, and I hope that you too have found a peace in yourself and can let the past be the past, and start to look forward to a much brighter and happier 2014!

You, the blogging family/community, have helped me get through this year in more ways than one. You have allowed me to express my feelings and throw them into cyberspace where I have had nothing but full support throughout the year. You are all truly amazingly beautiful people and I adore each one of you. After blogging for sometime now you start to get little images of what you think your regular followers look like etc. So Yes, i’m talking to you and you and you and you! Yes You!! Lol  I can’t help but laugh as Sakura just looked at me as if I’m crazy! 🙂

I have images of all of you and they are all good images of great people I admire and respect, and I enjoy getting to know you all through your blogs and mine. You truly are like a little extended family to me. From all races and walks of life we all come together as one, and this is the magic of our WordPress family! I am more open here with you than I am to those around me in the real world. I say thank goodness for WordPress and it’s co- founders. 🙂

What have I learnt this year? Well, we can’t ever change the past but we can seek out the future happiness we all so desire and deserve.

I thank every single one of you that have come to my site and touched my heart with your kindness. You have picked me up, when even I didn’t know how I would get there. You are all incredibly beautiful people who have been generous with your love and support and I hug all of you for it! 🙂

Next year I plan to share a lot more of my life through photos, video posts and basically let you into all the mundane things life has to offer along with all the great things. Hell, I’ll even tell you what coffee I drink, as long as you tell me what your is?? Lol

Love to you all, Paula xxxxx

image source

36 Comments

Filed under My experiences, What makes me happy

Sakura, my love

IMG_20130915_195347_592

sakura 004

sakura 005

sakura 006

I did a post about Sakura months ago and have been asked to post a photo of her many times since then.

So without further ado…. Here is the great love of my life!

Sakura is 10 in human years and is a very small cat. Although she’s a moggy cat she thinks she’s a pedigree. Lol

Her name means cherry blossom in Japanese. Her nicknames are Kura and Princess. No matter what time of the day or night I come home, 9 out of 10 times she’s half asleep waiting at the front door to greet me.

When I sleep she cuddles right into me like a teddy bear. Because I have insomnia and sleep apnea she can tell when my breathing changes and she nudges me to wake up. I’ve always found this sixth sense in animals incredible. If she feels I’ve neglected her, she goes to her toy box picks a toy out, then calls for me to play with her. And If I ignore her? Lordy… She just howls louder. She’s an inside cat and has never gone outside. The house I recently moved from was really large and she had plenty of space, so don’t feel sorry for her. However the house I am currently renting is only 3 bed 1 bathroom. Her old house was 5 bedrooms 3 bathrooms, but like the vet said – she’s older and more settled than when she was younger and wanting to  race from one end of the house to the other, up the stairs, down the stairs, up the stairs… You get the message. Lol

The vet tells me the space is sufficient and not to stress. So I’m not going to fret over it. 🙂

I also have 2 weiros (small parrots). I love birds so much – a good reason I don’t want her outside, being able to hunt and hill the native wildlife. Plus if she’s sleeping in my bed tucked under my arm? I don’t need birdie breath breathing on me. LMAO
Yet this is another thing I find fascinating – who likes morning breath? No one, right? But as I wake sometimes her nose is pressed right up against my mouth. Yikes!! At this point you’re probably cringing, right? Nonetheless I’ll continue… Hopefully without totally grossing you out. Lol. Now, no one else would do that without telling you to go brush your teeth, agreed? LMAO But to my princess… I’m mum and that smell is what tells her I’m mum. She can’t get close enough to me.

She loves my morning breath, my messy hair, my sexy elmo P.J’s. Lol. No matter what, she just loves me. Now, WHO WOULDN’T want someone like that in their lives? 🙂

She frequently follows me around like a puppy dog, waiting for me to finish whatever I’m doing as she’s dying to hop on my lap. The moment my laptop is on? She’s on my knee looking at the screen and following the letters. She does this until she can’t stay awake and then curls back up on my lap.

She is honestly like a child to me and brings so much joy to my world. If I’m down, and feeling low, and especially if I cry, she will smother with love… Almost as if she knows I have to smile and it’s her duty to make sure I do. It’s really peculiar, and makes me love her all the more.

With her in my life, I never feel completely alone. She loves me unconditionally, and I give the same back to her.

Maryanne, who I follow and vice versa, just lost her beloved Billy cat after 19 years. When she cried I cried for her as I can imagine the pain of losing something you have loved for so very long. My heart goes out to Maryanne and Dennis…. Love to you, Maryanne!

I know Sakura won’t live forever, so I cherish each and every day that I have her in my life.
As I type this, she’s watching on my knee. Lol

Do you have a pet that you adore like a child? A sweet little animal that loves you, morning breath and all?

sakura january 18th fooling around in clown room 031

sakura january 18th fooling around in clown room 029

Hugs to you all, Paula xxxxx

62 Comments

Filed under What makes me happy

I love…

Move-300x225

I love sunshine, and how when it hits my face I feel alive and invigorated.

I love my family and friends, for they keep me strong and don’t allow me to fall down.

I love colour, for the world isn’t black and white.

I love to look at the ocean; it keeps me calm.

I love the garden because it keeps me close to nature.

I love butterflies for they look so graceful when they fly.

I love dancing, as it wakes my soul.

I love the moon and how I gaze in wonder.

I love Sakura for she is the great love of my life and brings me peace.

I love all people of all races and religion… We are all connected.

I love chocolate – it lifts dark clouds! 

I love watching children play and listening to their laughter. So innocent and free.

I love Game Of Thrones!! 🙂

I love travelling, But when that plane arrives back in Australia? That’s when I’m truly home.

I love today; the sun is shining!

I love our blogging family/community

Ohhh and I love Bourbon. Lol

What do you love?

Hugs to you all. Paula xxxxxooo

image credit

47 Comments

Filed under What makes me happy

Heeeeeellllooooo World!!

Hello Everyone!!

Wow. It feels like I’ve been away from blogging for months! Lol… I think it’s been about 3 weeks. 🙂

Well, I have moved out of our house and am now living alone with Sakura (cat) and my birds, B.J & Pippa.

It feels really strange as the last time I ever lived alone was when I was 15 years old. My husband rings every day to check on me which I think is really nice. We have parted as friends and for this I’m really grateful.

The house looks like I’ve lived here for years. See, some good comes out of having OCD! LMAO 🙂 I couldn’t rest until everything went back into place. Poor Sakura was beside herself as she missed her old home. Anyone with animals would understand how hard it is for our pets to adjust to the new environment.  Anyway, she is getting much happier and starting to find new hiding spots! Lol

My internet won’t be up for about 1 or 2 weeks… Fingers crossed it gets done earlier. Then again, I am talking about Telstra (phone company in Oz) – with them, anything is possible!  🙂

So, blogging off my phone and boy does the word correction thingy do my head in! Lol

I love this song! Missed all your blogs!!

Hugs to you all. Paula xxxxx

56 Comments

Filed under My experiences