Tag Archives: Lithium


Lithium Medication Mind

Lithium.  I had no idea how my body would react to this drug, or how I would react mentally.

I was unsure if it would make me drowsy  and come with unwanted side effects. Well, I’m really pleased as I don’t seem to have anything that drastic happening. It’s early days but I can already feel my mood has lifted. I don’t feel like I’m all over the place for no reason. Not really sure what happened to me; one minute I was happy, next I was wanting it to all end again.

It was hard to admit to myself and to my wonderful doctor that I was everywhere yet nowhere. Each day it was getting harder and harder to appear like everything in my world (mind) was okay. I’ve said so many times that sleep was my only escape. Which it still is! What I mean by that is that it’s my only escape from my own racing mind. Peace in my head is so limited and at times it overwhelms me and I just want it all to end.

Thankfully, my doctor saw through the facade and put me on the Lithium. It’s actually working – it has already made me feel better, and I’m not having my brain go at 100 miles an hour. I’m no longer feeling like I want to cry one minute and laugh the next:) Weird, but it’s the only way I can explain how I was feeling.

The only thing I’m not wanting to happen is the weight gain I’ve read about, or the under active thyroid.

Fingers crossed it all works out.

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Putting Me First

Today I quit my voluntary work at the old people’s home:(

As you would see from my last post, I’m having to take Lithium tablets (for now!). I’m feeling a little overwhelmed and that everything seems that much harder to achieve. So, I had to make the decision to stop for now.

I’m coming to the  end of the finishing touches of a house that we are renovating. Hopefully when it’s finished someone will see the great effort we went to give them a new home, without it actually being a new home. Anyone that’s renovated or built a new home would know how stressful it can become. So with doing the home and going to our farm every Friday, and going overseas, it was all getting too much. Rather than have a complete meltdown, I decided to give it up.

When I made the decision, I actually felt really bad and that I was deserting these old people who I had come pretty fond of. Some of them registered that I was leaving, but I think the majority didn’t really understand. Still, at this moment I know I’ve made the right decision.

Guilt is a wasted emotion! But one that eats us alive, if we let it:)

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Well, today has been a strange day with lots of highs and lows going on. Just when I think I’m on top of things, something blindsides me and I come tumbling down.

Today I’ve been put on Lithium. I really didn’t want to take this medication but what choice do I  have; when you can’t control your own moods and thoughts you need to turn to something that can get you back on track.  So I’ll give it a go and see if it stabilises my moods.

We go through life doing our day to day things, but what do you do when those simple mundane things become too much. Brushing your teeth, your hair, getting out of bed, etc etc etc… How do we hold onto the will to live and, quite frankly, why do we bother? I realise it’s  because of our family and friends, and the people around that love us. It all sounds so obvious, yet at the time none of that matters when your moods are everywhere.

When you’re like that, the truth is – you’re not you! You’re this kind of lost soul, spinning around in your own mind.

You can love someone, or many people for that matter, but still feel completely isolated. Not necessarily on the outside but on the inside. Who can hear those thoughts you’re having right now? Not me, not anyone. Only you know what your thinking! So when you’re low no-one actually knows  unless your crying, or you simply tell them that your day has been pretty crappy. Externally we all look quite balanced, happy and healthy, but we must reach out to someone when we know deep down there’s trouble brewing, and we need someone to talk to.

To say what we are really thinking and feeling can be hard. Because when someone asks “how’s your  day’? They’re not really wanting you to say anything other than “oh really good thank you, how are you?”.

It’s kind of like the polite thing to do, and you don’t want to pull others down with you!

SO, okay, what am I really trying to get  at?

Just that we need to seek help when everything around us comes falling down, or appears like it’s falling down. You don’t need to be alone in your own thoughts. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness!

I think it takes great courage to say “Hey, I think I need some help!”

Why do we think that we have to always appear that everything around us is just so perfect.


Filed under My experiences