Depression Exists

sad angel 1

Depression Exists:

Tonight, I write this for others that are suffering with Depression right now.
Especially our teenagers!

Growing up as a “normal” child wasn’t easy for me. Those who have been sexually abused will understand exactly what I’m talking about. You lay in bed and cry and wonder if anyone cares or even sees you. You pray to God to help you die and take you away from the hell you’re living in.  But that doesn’t happen – you wake and the same thing happens again and again. You stop believing or caring about God. If he was really listening this would all go away, but it doesn’t! So you no longer believe in anything, or feel safe anywhere.

You can’t think or act normally (whatever that is, anyway). Nothing in your life is like the typical girl or boy next door just hanging out with your friends and family.

You’re broken and feel different, weird, lost, confused, sad, angry and every other negative emotion your body can think of. To those around, you you are annoying and difficult and cause problems to the rest of the family. Yet no one knows your pain or can hear you crying out loud in your mind, screaming for it all to stop.  Who will understand? Who will believe me? Who will care?
Well, plenty of people care. And that’s what I want to say to you.

Don’t lay there in silence crying inside, or walk around feeling like some kind of freak, or think  you’re different and no one gets you. Maybe they do think you’re different and a little odd, but they can’t hear you and know that you are in pain unless you reach out for help.

So many people care… More than we realise! Okay, trust.. Right?? I know this is the hard part. Those that you should have been safe with and trusted are the very people hurting you.

I thought asking for help was a weakness and therapy was never going to happen. How could I tell someone the horrors that live in my head, and about the pain I had endured in silence for years. Where would I even start. Would my family still love me?

They did, of course. They felt my sadness as if it was their own. They rallied behind me like knights in shining armour! We came away from the side of the family that hurt me and the healing began. Therapy does and will help, I promise you that!  But the first step is being able to ask for it. Life as a teenager can be tough enough without any form of abuse whether that be mental or physical abuse. They are as bad as each other, never think differently!!

You deserve to be loved and feel loved, never ever forget this. You are beautiful, strong and courageous and don’t let anyone make you feel less. Broken things can be fixed. And when they are fixed with professional care… They once again look beautiful and complete. Life is strange and sometimes hard to understand, but one day this will all be gone along with those that have hurt you!

YOU  WILL  FIND LOVE AND HAPPINESS AGAIN.

We forgive… But never forget. Why?? Because it’s our souls way of protecting us from never allowing this to happen to us again.

Go to a friend a teacher, anyone you feel you can trust. Don’t suffer in silence!! Someone in life is waiting for you to grow up and to love you unconditionally. Don’t let them down, they need you as much as you need them. I believe in soul mates. I think there is one out there for you.

Remember you are beautiful. Whatever you are suffering, let someone in and learn to dance and smile again!

I hug you and want you to know you are not alone!  Live for all the beauty that is waiting for you!

Learn to trust again!!!

Hugs to you all…Paula xxxx

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28 Comments

Filed under Fight Depression, My experiences

28 responses to “Depression Exists

  1. This is such a lovingly written post, Paula. I was brought up to always respect my elders, and never dared speak a word against the person who abused me. I thought no-one would believe me and I would get into trouble. i often think back and wonder what would have happened if I’d actually said something all those years ago. Our family would never have been the same again.

    • First, I thank you and hug you for your honesty! It’s not easy to come out and say such things. I too was afraid of that, very much so! The person abusing me was very respected amongst the family and the community. I fell apart at 14 and had to leave school as a result. I’ve often wondered what my life would have been like had I been able to be just a kid. I had to grow up so fast it was crazy. By 16 I was a mum to my now 28 year old son, who I adore!! But, I will never know what it was like to be just a teenager hanging out with friends. I am so grateful for your comment as many people come to this site and don’t comment. They need to feel safe and no they are not alone. We do care and want them to know that its okay to have a voice and speak out! Again, I thank you so much and hug you! Love and respect to you…Paula xxxxxxxx

      • Thanks so much for your kind words and hugs, Paula. I so agree with you that children really must speak out against any form of abuse.It can save years of anguish and even self reproach. I wish now that I had, but I was so timid, and over the years, have just dealt with it in my own way. I don’t think about it very often, but your post really touched a nerve with me, and I had to reply. Hugs to you too. xx

  2. totsymae1011

    Sorry you experienced that. The eye opener came to me over 10 years ago that so many females experience sexual abuse when she said, “Not one girl around my age that I know hasn’t been molested.” She was 21. It was sad to her that.

    • I agree! And today it still goes on and on. It tears people apart inside and out. We are all so afraid of what people will think of us and then we are the ones left broken. Thank you for your comment. Have a great day. Hugs Paula xxx

  3. Rohan 7 Things

    Great post Paula! Absolutely agree, talking to someone, being heard, simply being listened to makes such a huge difference!

    Thanks for writing and spreading this message, so many youngsters in particular need to hear this kind of thing 🙂

    Keep well, hugs!

    Rohan.

    • Thanks Rohan! They need to know its okay to speak out and find someone they can trust.It will give them the courage and strength to have a voice. Bullying is one of the biggest threats to our teenagers. You for one know how this feels and have come out the other end a beautiful man. To hell with the bullies and there kind, right? There’s a whole lotta world just waiting for them to experience. hugs Paula xxx

  4. June

    This rings true for everyone. Those who are silently suffering will truly appreciate this post and hopefully will help do something about their dilemmas. Thanks for sharing your insightful and inspiring thoughts Paula! Hugs!

    • Hey Juney Babe! Thank you for kind and beautiful things you just wrote. Our teenagers are our future and they need to be protected and feel safe. Suicide amongst our youth is so high, it makes me feel so sad that they thought that was the only way out. Speaking out is not easy, but it will set them free. Free to grow and make mistakes of their own doing, not by someone elses. Free to love and have hope for a better future, one with peace and happiness. No one has a right to take that away from them. Hugs Paula xxxx

  5. This is such a lovingly written post Thank you

  6. Well said. Trust is very important and no such thing as forgive and forget. Remember and forgive. Only in remembering one will find healing and forgiveness. Good morning, Paula. Have a good day. Perpetua.

  7. This was really wonderful, thank you!

  8. Wonderful, wonderful words Paula. Beautifully written by a beautiful person. Inside and out! Much love! xo

  9. Wonderful words of encouragement Paula. And such a lovely image as well.

    Ivonne

  10. The impact which this post has made in me is really a worth one to mention about, dear one! See the similarity of thoughts that I expressed through the most recent post of mine with this. 🙂 🙂 🙂

    Rahul

  11. Thoughtful post Paula.Thanks for sharing!!!

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