Depression is a hard thing to completely understand. If you turn your back on it you find when you turn back around… There is only darkness.
Some things in my life lately have been a bit hard to face. But I know only too well not to turn my back. So, I’m facing it head on. Even though most of the time I want to run away and deny it’s even there.
I don’t think life is meant to be easy. I think we are always sent things to test us. Which way do we go? Left, right?? Sometimes we are blinded or maybe we choose not to see and go about our lives as if nothing is wrong. Whatever it is that we have thrown at us I think it’s in our best interest to accept it and find a solution. As much as I don’t like facing problems, I think we are all better off working through them. Again, emptying that treasure chest to make us lighter.
Feeling like I do right now can make you feel very insecure about life. Not in terms of wanting to commit suicide .. Not at all! But more being afraid of the unknown. Why do we lose this faith in ourselves when we once looked after ourselves perfectly well! I think we become dependent on someone else to hold us up. And what happens when you feel as if they are no longer there? That whole left or right thing comes up and all the insecurities that follow.
Drinking is definitely not a great thing to do at these times, but for those on WordPress that know me all too well… They know I love to drink. I hide behind it for security. I don’t smoke/take drugs etc.. So my only vice is alcohol. I’ve even given up my cupcakes! I know!! I can’t believe it myself! LMAO
Depression plays a big part in how you feel about your body as well. I have taken control of that one to and put myself on a diet. I’m doing an aerobic workout 4 times a week and the treadmill every day for 1 hour. I’ve lost 3 kilos and feel great for it! Sakura, my cat, thinks I’m mad and just sits there and watches me. The first day on the treadmill she tried to hope on with me. It was so funny. She’s not tried that again. When you feel depressed about your body it really does impact how you feel over all. Feeling fit and having a healthy body in turn rewards you with a healthy mind!
Before my world fell apart 2 years ago, I was right into fitness. I always knew keeping fit made me feel better about myself. It’s taken until now to reach the point where I’m feeling better in myself and ready to get back into shape. That’s not to say I look the way I want to right now…. I’m a woman, and are we ever really happy with the way we look? Lol But for now it’s making me feel good. And when you look good you feel good. You can’t help but lift your mood when your body feels more alive.
So has depression got a hold of me? No! I’ve got a hold on it! Excuse the language… But I’ve got hold of depression by the balls ladies, and I shall not let them go!! Onwards and upwards we climb!
Right now I’m just dealing with normal issues that everyone faces and it should not be a reason to become depressed. I hope this finds all of you in good spirits as well. If not? I give you a great big hug and hope all is well soon!
BTW: anyone care to join me on the treadmill?? Lol
Hugs to you all…….Paula xxxxx
I love Fleetwood Mac and this song. xx