Depression Exists

Depression Exists:

Depression is a hard thing to completely understand. If you turn your back on it you find when you turn back around… There is only darkness.

Some things in my life lately have been a bit hard to face. But I know only too well not to turn my back. So, I’m facing it head on. Even though most of the time I want to run away and deny it’s even there.

I don’t think life is meant to be easy. I think we are always sent things to test us. Which way do we go? Left, right??  Sometimes we are blinded or maybe we choose not to see and go about our lives as if nothing is wrong. Whatever it is that we have thrown at us I think it’s in our best interest to accept it and find a solution. As much as I don’t like facing problems, I think we are all better off working through them.  Again, emptying that treasure chest to make us lighter.

Feeling like I do right now can make you feel very insecure about life. Not in terms of wanting to commit suicide .. Not at all! But more being afraid of the unknown. Why do we lose this faith in ourselves when we once looked after ourselves perfectly well! I think we become dependent on someone else to hold us up. And what happens when you feel as if they are no longer there? That whole left or right thing comes up and all the insecurities that follow.

Drinking is definitely not a great thing to do at these times, but for those on WordPress that know me all too well… They know I love to drink. I hide behind it for security. I don’t smoke/take drugs etc.. So my only vice is alcohol. I’ve even given up my cupcakes! I know!! I can’t believe it myself! LMAO

Depression plays a big part in how you feel about your body as well.  I have taken control of that one to and put myself on a diet. I’m doing an aerobic workout 4 times a week and the treadmill every day for 1 hour.  I’ve lost 3 kilos and feel great for it! Sakura, my cat, thinks I’m mad and just sits there and watches me. The first day on the treadmill she tried to hope on with me. It was so funny.  She’s not tried that again. When you feel depressed about your body it really does impact how you feel over all. Feeling fit and having a healthy body in turn rewards you with a healthy mind!

Before my world fell apart 2 years ago, I was right into fitness. I always knew keeping fit made me feel better about myself. It’s taken until now to reach the point where I’m feeling better in myself and ready to get back into shape. That’s not to say I look the way I want to right now…. I’m a woman, and are we ever really happy with the way we look? Lol But for now it’s making me feel good. And when you look good you feel good. You can’t help but lift your mood when your body feels more alive.

So has depression got a hold of me? No! I’ve got a hold on it! Excuse the language… But I’ve got hold of depression by the balls ladies, and I shall not let them go!! Onwards and upwards we climb!

Right now I’m just dealing with normal issues that everyone faces and it should not be a reason to become depressed. I hope this finds all of you in good spirits as well. If not? I give you a great big hug and hope all is well soon!

BTW: anyone care to join me on the treadmill?? Lol

Hugs to you all…….Paula xxxxx

I love Fleetwood Mac and this song.  xx


Filed under Fight Depression, My experiences

29 responses to “Depression Exists

  1. Oh my sweet – this song and Fleetwood Mac…took me back so many years. Thank you. Yes exercise is excellent for health, weight and release! Release the endorphins. Let the ‘crap’ go that you hold on to. You only need holding up if it’s the right person doing the holding. If you are strong enough to make a change and be willing to accept all what that means, you will have the strength to continue the life you want. Huggssss xxxxx

  2. awwww sweet sis, all you need unconditional and fair love. Those things kill depression. I hope spend awesome time with your family.

  3. Aww, Paula, my heart goes out to you. Stay strong and as they say, “This too shall pass.” You are doing all the right things and as my mom once said about drinking, “At least it’s legal!” So if you feel you need some beer or a glass of wine or two, go for it — no guilt required, I give you my permission 🙂

    You mentioned you are on a diet. I’d like to know what your diet is because foods can also play a major part in depression. For instance, we need healthy fats like avocados, coconut oil, olives and olive oil to help our bodies function properly. It’s important to have greens in every meal to put your body in an alkaline state. Also much have protein with each meal. When I eat like this, I can conquer the world! (And be sure to take a B complex vitamin regularly, as Bs are stress busters!)

    If you need any more nutritional advice, feel free to ask. I got off anti-depressants many years ago by upping my game with nutrition.

    (((HUGS))) xoox

    • Hi Maryanne!! Thanks for the food advice. I’m definitely eating protein, but must admit I’ve cut down on my greens! Not to worry I shall change this! I’ll get through it… I always do. Just not going to be hard on myself to fix everything over night! BTW: Thanks for giving me permission to drink!! 🙂 it’s my brothers 50th tonight… So Jacks will be my date!!! Lol. Thanks again for your support. Hugs Paula xxxxx

  4. Me and treadmills don’t go well together.

    I hope you start picking up again soon Paula. I know we have just come out of misery month, so hopefully you’ll be a chirpy chippy again soon 🙂

    • It is good to hear that you have taken control of the situation. Facing it head on is a brave thibg indeed. You are a strong woman and I’m glad that you haven’t lost hope. Take care and keep going 🙂 lots of love to you ❤

      • Head on is so scary, yet I can’t run from this. My doctor is always telling me I have a strong genetic makeup. I think it comes from my mums side. 🙂
        Thanks for your support…. Have a great weekend. Hugs Paula xxxx

    • Chirpy Chippy… I love it!! Even though things are tough in my personal life right now… I know I have to keep smiling. Thankfully I’m good at that. Maybe your god will show me which way to turn? 🙂 Hugs Paula xxx

      • Let’s hope so. I didn’t know whether he existed until the endof last year / beginning of this year when, for the third time, I asked for a miracle and – for the third time – I got one

        Hoping things do pick up properly for you soon Paula, my friend

  5. I will think of you, Paula, when I am using my step machine or exercise bike. They help me have stamina for hiking and keep my mind alert. I am not into dieting but I love how I feel when I exercise regularly. I don’t drink -but I LOVE my morning coffee! 🙂 Good on you, girl, for tackling depression with exercise! It definitely helps ward off the dark moods in my life. Hugs!

    Blessings ~ Wendy

  6. HUUGGSS … *reads* …wishes I could do more than give interent hugs.

    Still … the exercise does work wonders for helpng put you in a better mood as you say. I have learnt that exercise, while being physically good for you, is an incredible way to shake dark thoughts.

    Paula … I have been neglectful of our friendship of late….next time kick me…hard.

    You are a strong person Paula .. and a good person … and I KNOW things will work out…they will ok.

    • I love you and you don’t need to apologize for anything! Sometimes life just sends things to test me and this is my test! Just about to turn off the laptop when I saw your comment! So, I thank you and hug you right back! Paula xxxxxxx

      • Fecking life tests….you have passed ALL of them so far…. so there is no reason to think you will not get past this one too.

        By the way…6 kilos….wooohoooooooooo

  7. Way to go, Paula. Keep the beautiful figure and funny to hear that “d” has balls 😆 sweet dreams. /mps

  8. and yet, sometimes it’s those every day normal things that sometimes can take us over the edge. Thank you for the reminder that a key component of not getting depressed is getting fit. It is on my list.

    • Hey Ivonne! It really is helping right now. But I would have to say my life isn’t exactly normal right now…still chin up and deal with it. Like I said,I would love to run right now but that’s just silly. I need to face things. Hope all is well for you…..Hugs Paula xxxx

  9. Thank you for sharing this with us. I resonate with every word you write. I wish I found your blog last year, when I was struggling by myself. Now I am in a better place but I know depression is right at the next corner, waiting to get me. I tried to make the best of it, like I try to do with everything that happens to me. I won’t say depression is a blessing but it does teach you a lot of stuff about yourself, if you choose to fight it.

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