Depression Exists

Depression Exists:

Because the ability to rationalise things gets taken away from me. My  mind plays tricks and confuses me into thinking everything around is doom and gloom, instead of just accepting that not everything in life is perfect and the PAST IS IN THE PAST!

So I  sit there and let my  mind just drift into the emptiness that I’m feeling.

Depression leads to anxiety and then I’m  feeling like someone is strangling me and I can’t breathe.

You see laughter but you can’t hear it!

You see beauty but you can’t feel it!

Everything is nothing and nothing is everything!

Where is the sun? because I can’t feel its warmth,

Where is the rain because I don’t feel wet?

It’s a lonely, confused and lost place. Death consumes my weakened mind.

I beg my mind to be happy and think about the present and how much pain I would cause if I died.

You Don’t Control Depression! Depression Controls You!

These words always echo in my mind!

I won’t let my depression ever take a hold of me again to the point where I think death is my only escape. I will fight and keep on fighting because life is a gift and It would destroy those that love me. I would destroy so many lives and I have no right to do such a thing.

So does Depression Control Me? At times…Yes! But that’s not a reason to give up fighting it!

Never give up! Let love and light into your world.

Seek help anywhere you can because you’re not worthless, you’re something – and someone out there loves you more than life itself.

If you’re gone, they’re gone!


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Filed under Fight Depression

19 responses to “Depression Exists

  1. But about movies? Do they work to decrease your depression?

  2. Absolutely!!..I just have to find things to distract my over active mind! x

  3. I, like all your followers believe in you… DO NOT THINK DEATH is your only escape. What you write for others to read is inspirational! When you feel your thoughts taking over and your mind wandering to those dark places think of us here in blog land your friends… we will help when we can, guide when we can and hopefully bring you back to a happy place. Thinks of the song ‘where life is beautiful all day long’..but that’s from the funny farm song…ok insert “humour” mwaahhhhhh xxx

  4. First!…I don’t even know you personally… but love your heart so much!!..(that sounds weird doesn’t it?) *smiles*
    Thinking about dying and having an active plan…are 2 different things!…
    You guys in blog land are amazing and help me immensely!..*huggs and more huggs*…Don’t feel worried about me!!… I’m just trying to to let others that go through these emotions…know there not alone!
    Bipolar 2 (manic depressive)…can be tricky to live with. One day your on top of the world…The next something could have triggered that down side.
    My past haunts me!…I try soooo hard to ignore these negetive thoughts when they happen!
    I think of the peace I would have if I was dead…But at what expensive to everyone around me?..So therefore it’s not an option and would be a selfish act!…I want others like me to know that fighting that darkness can be exhausting..So fight it!!!…and keep fighting, because tomorrow really is another day!!!
    Go and find a distraction because life is beautiful!!!…Its our mind playing tricks!!…So trick it back into happy thoughts!
    (Side Note): ramblingsfromamum…your so beautiful and people like yourself make this world a better place! xxx

  5. and I love your heart (people will talk) I have read about your past and…I think my post said no words… everyday I want you to rise from your bed shouting..or whispering..but with authority either way. “Hello Brand New Day – I’m In Control & You will not beat Me” Then do the Gangma style..bound to put a smile on your dial 🙂 PS Thank you for your side note xxxxxx

  6. Okay now I’m smiling!!..What a possitive affirmation!.
    Thankyou so much! x


    I need to get you an email…I am far behind…but have been meaning to write you…when I do, remind me, (if I forget)…to say something about this…I am trying so hard to stay out of the dark places.

    I am trying not to think of them…not to write bad things.

    I like that there are things like your blog that shows how there is darkness…but that we CAN…and WILL conquer them.

    You are a rock star!!!

  8. Katie I want to hug you!..Ready?..”.Okay did you fell that cyber hugg?”..*laughing*…Don’t write about it!…stay away from that negative energy and just visit my blog when you feel grounded…Negativity feeds off negativity..Yuk!…Yuk! ..but true!
    I was worried about ramblingsfromamum last night getting pulled down into that negative world, just from reading my post!..Bugger!
    Some times my posts will be like that …because lets face it Depression is a tabu subject! and not one people want to admit to,or talk about! xxxx

    • I be ok darling. Every now and then I hit the rock bottom of a murky lake and lay there for a wee while gulping in air, but then I rise stronger and hopefully more positive. Just like you and katiekins are doing. Now I don’t want to hear anymore from you 2 – you are both VERY special people and unless wearing a miners helmut – you don’t want to go to dem dark places 🙂 xxx

  9. Keep it up!!! I love your heart and attitude in this post. What a great perception. I hope you break free from depression controlling you soon…

    • sakuraandme

      Thanks Nicole, I’m doing all the things they tell me to do!
      *smiles* I’ve woken up feeling anxious so I did my breathing…you feel like a bit of a *dufus*..but it works! Lol x

      • HAHA that’s so true. I remember the first time my therapist walked me through a breathing relaxation exercise I looked at him and goes “Who does this in real life?” and without missing a beat he goes “you do–”

        So keep up the good work even feeling like a dufus!

      • sakuraandme

        I can’t stop laughing!!
        Thank you xxxx

  10. Do you find when youre not too depressed and thinking of the end, that you feel empty instead? Kat

  11. Spiritually Inclined, with Julie Buhite

    Beautifully, insightfully and courageously put. You’re speaking for so many people. Thank you.

    • Hi Julie..that’s really kind! I’ve seen a little of your site and see you have overcome.. or should I say, have done a great deal of fighting yourself!
      What an inspiration, you are! xx

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