Depression Exists

Depression Exists when:

You feel sad or anxious and can’t shake that feeling. You stop doing the things you once enjoyed.

You no longer see the beauty in things.

Your bed becomes your best friend.

You eat more than normal, or stop eating.

You have thoughts of suicide (and recurring thoughts of dying).

Everything that comes out of your mouth is negative.

You consume alcohol like there’s NO tomorrow (because temporarily it takes away how you’re feeling)
When I drink alcohol I feel I can do anything! Like many others before me, it gives the Dutch courage I would otherwise lack. It’s taken me till now (44 years old) to realise that it’s the wrong thing to do, especially if you suffer with a mental illness.

Drinking to me was like taking a drug and feeling high. I’m a happy drunk 🙂 not aggressive. So because I was like that I figured what the hell, I’m not harming anyone! But I was. I was harming myself.

Binge drinking, eating etc is all part of my personality. I’m really impulsive, sometimes I’m happy to be like that and other days it bothers the hell out of me. If you said let’s go to Rome tomorrow, I would think hell yes, without any thought of anyone else and what commitments I may have.

Now I’m not about to give up alcohol:) I probably should but I’m not:) So, I’ve
learnt to drink a lot more respossibly.I no longer drink alone – that’s a great start! – only sociably. Medication and alcohol are a dangerous mix . I know this one all too well. Avoid mixing the two and you’re doing  yourself a favour.

After coming out of hospital I did give up drinking for 6 months. The amount of meds I was on made me feel so dopey that drinking was the last thing on my mind. Like I said, should I have stopped permanently? Of course. But everything in moderation – that’s not me.

It was the cocktail of medication and alcohol that pushed me to attempt suicide.

What’s important to always remember is that depression is a treatable illness. However, different types of Depression require different types of treatment. Seeking help is the first step to becoming well again and getting back to enjoying your  life:) I believe a good health professional that you can relate to is a great starting point. When there’s no judgement and you’re free to say whatever you want, without retribution.

There are many other things you could be experiencing. I’m just sharing some of the things that happen to me.

Having depression doesn’t mean you’re a weak person. You’ve just hit a huge rock and have to work out how to get around or over it.

In the darkness there eventually becomes light.

Life is precious. My mum is always telling me that we are never sent any more than we can handle. (She’s very spiritual).:)

So maybe one day we will find out what the hell It all meant, and have a good laugh.:)

Don’t ever be ashamed of who you are.

image source


Filed under My experiences, What irks me

13 responses to “Depression Exists

  1. Again …my “Like” click is in support of you …not of all the bad that caused this blog.

    But there is good in this blog too *huggs*

    I am so sorry you have gone though such things … but I am glad you are healing. I am very glad.

    *gives you yet another hug*

  2. Yet again… your cyber hugs are very much appreciated.:)
    Reading blogs like yours makes me smile and laugh.

    For that I truly thank you…*huggs*…right back at you. xxx

  3. You are very inspiring! Thank you so much for posting this. xoxox

  4. That’s really kind of you!…I really do understand your struggles… It really is true that through all darkness becomes light!
    It’s just that sometimes fighting that darkness you get lost. I force myself to find happiness where ever I can.
    Always remember tomorrows another day!.. xx

  5. To follow one another and have our virtual friendships, it is humbling to see raw emotions put on paper such as yours. I am glad that we can share our feelings and that we are also their to support one another if the time arises.
    If anyone is in darkness it helps to know that there is someone that can perhaps lead them to the light…and a virtual friend may be the one to do that, rather than someone they physically know. xx

  6. I only started binge drinking in the last few years. I dont drink often, but too often I when I did I was. I am trying to keep an eye on it, but sometimes its too late. I was always the one that never got drunk. Then I had a tequila at a friends birthday and a week or so later discovered Jager Bombs. Im pretty sure that is when it started. I now try to stay away from the shots. I love them, but they hit too quickly, so I dont get a chance to realise I should stop before my party pants are on! Kat 🙂

  7. I was a notorious binge drinker!…I got sick and tired of saying sorry to everyone the next day!…They didn’t care, they thought I was the light of the party…
    It was exciting and gave me an adrenaline rush.
    I only realised that I shouldn’t have had that last drink until it was too late.
    My party pants didn’t come off until I had finished vomiting in the toilet!…You.. like me…need a Co-Pilot that whispers in our ears telling us it’s time to go…But will we listen?
    I think you know where I’m coming from. Lol x

  8. Thanks for sharing your journey and keep on blogging.

  9. That’s really kind of you ,brilliant post

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