Today I just feel like talking about how hard it is to be labelled with something that few people actually understand – or want to understand.
So many people think that they have to be careful of someone with mental illness, for fear they may do something to harm them. In this day an age it shouldn’t be like that. There are so many campaigns out there that you would think people would have a better understanding than they did years ago.
You already feel different the moment your diagnosed, but to be judged by people who don’t even know you is tough. When I first meet someone they would have no idea that I suffer with a mental illness. But they may think I’m extremely high on drugs, or life, as I can be unusually happy at times. Happier than most people, but then slowly I come crashing down. It’s like you feel the tiredness of always been happy, then slowly you feel yourself start to withdraw internally. It’s hard to explain!
Listening to how some people talk about mental illness it’s no wonder so many people suffer in silence. Some days its exhausting to just wake up. You think Shit! another day to get through. You’re like this lost soul wandering around in your own head trying to make sense of where you belong in life. It’s not that I don’t love life, because I do. It’s just that sometimes I’m mentally so tired of just trying to get by. I do everything a supposedly NORMAL person does. But sometimes I just get tired of living in my own mind, tired of not knowing why I’m tired, tired of never feeling good enough, tired of my own racing thoughts.
Some days you just want the whole world to go away. Some days when I’m feeling low I imagine that I’m this 10 yr old girl in a white dress holding a bunch of white flowers skipping around in this giant bubble. No one can penetrate it, I’m completely safe and everything around me is pure and clean.
Sounds like someone crazy, doesn’t it? But the truth is no one can hear these thoughts, they’re yours, hidden in your own mind.